■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : people can benefit more from traveling foreign countries than traveling to own countries. |
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Some people think that traveling their own countries is has worthier more worthy than trip around foreign countries. Whereas, Oothers have a different idea with it. If I had to choose among with them, . I agree with the latter statement. Ssince it broadens their perspective and offers unforgettable memories.memory. Let me explain why I think so.
First of all, people they can obtain special experience by traveling other countries. Since tThey can face some new situations which are hard to experience if they were in their own countries. For example, the last year, when I went to the Japan, I could was enabled to enjoy the Japan's traditional food, play and costume including also especially their original masked dance that was played in the traditional spring festival, which was very impressed. Since I have been traveled around a lot of places in my countries, experiencing other countries gave me was very valuable memories and so that it made my life more affluent affluently after I came back.
Secondly, traveling other countries allows people to see the world with various views. they can understand the world more deeply with wisdom which they learned from cultural differences between countries. For instance, when I went to the United States Oof America, I was surprised because of the gap between my imagination based on my knowledge which gained from books and the real world what I faced. tThere was very profound cultural aspect that I could not notice and learn from the textbook. Especially, such as table manners and toilet manners. Through the conversation with the foreign people, I could compare the culture of two countries' pros and cons. After I came back from America, I could understand other people when I had a different idea from with them.
To sum up, I strongly agree with the idea that traveling other countries is has a lot of advantages because it can provides valuable memories and widen the perspective toward to the world. In this regard, I strongly agree with the statement that going to other countries is better rather than own countries.
Comment :
더 많은 추억을 남길 수 있고 시야를 넓힐 수 있어서 좋다는 주장이 모두 좋습니다. 설명 과정에서 그것이 왜 더 좋고 어떻게 좋은지를 명확히 설명할 수 있도록 단계적 구성을 더 만들어주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 문법오류가 많은 편이니 주술호응에 유의해서 문장을 구성해주세요. 특히 접속사가 이끄는 절은 그 자체로 문장이 될 수 없다는 점에 유의하셔야 할 것 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3/5
An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following :
- Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details
(일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함)
- Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured
(문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남)
- May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning
(문장의 구성 또는 어휘의 선택에서 내용의 명확성이 떨어지거나 의미 전달이 불분명한 부분들이 있음)
- May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary
(답안의 내용은 주제에 부합하지만 제한된 문장구조나 어휘를 사용함)