▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly,
having hobbies plays a significant role in people's daily lives in many of the
places where they work or play. Some people think that it is not vital that
people use free their time to engage in hobbies that are different from their
work, while others do not. They may have their own reasons to support their
views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that it is essential that
people use their free time to engage in hobbies that are different from
their work.
To begin with, when people spend their free time doing
hobbies that are different from their work, it can help them improve
their work performance. Enjoying hobbies that are unrelated to their work
enables them to relax and recharge their batteries. When people are
recharged, they are likely to have more energy to put
into working and being active. According to a study conducted by Harvard University in 2010, two groups of young
adults showed a huge difference in academic performance. One group
consisted of those who had spent their free time enjoying
hobbies that are seperate separate from
their work, and the other group made up of those who had
not. The researchers found that the former was more likely to have a
higher score on the SAT than the latter. (살짝 아쉬운 점은, 이미 직장이 있는 사람들이 SAT를 쳤다는 게 논리적 비약인 것 같아요.) In particular, the first group showed a longer attetion
attention span, a stronger passion in
their tasks and a better ability to delay gratification. On the
other hand, the second group tended to get distracted easily, procrastinate,
and act on impulse. This implies that diversion is the key to success academically
as well as professionally. Without refreshing themselves, people
would fall behind.
In addition, when people use their free
time enjoying hobbies that are seperate separate
from their work, it can contribute to an increase in their
overall happiness. It gives them a chance to experience something
different from what they would do in daily routine. A new experience
tends to prevent them from feeling bored in life. For example, when my
sister was in high school, she often felt depressed thinking that her life
became an exhausting routine. To survive in a competitive world, she spent
the whole day studying all academic courses, hoping that she could outdo
others. Fortunately, she was able to deal with such stress and
pressure in a safe way by spending her free time doing hobbies
that are different from all academic courses. By doing so, she was
able to let off some steam. Otherwise, she could have involved herself in
dangerous activities such as drugs or fights as a way to handle a lot of
strain and stress.
All
things considered, I strongly believe that the importance of having
hobbies that are different from job cannot be overestimated in
people's daily lives.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Good (24-30) |
Score |
28 |
Overall
Comment: |
매우 잘 쓰셨어요. 템플릿 활용이
완벽했고 문법 오류가 없었어요. 철자 오류만 조금 있었구요. 살짝 아쉬운 점은 위에 지적을 해 드렸듯이 이미 직장이 있는 사람들이 SAT를
쳤다는 게 논리적 비약이었습니다. |
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