▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, both (of)
family and work are very important parts of life.
(for people in their life.) Some people think that being at work is more
important than spending time with family. However, I do not agree with the
opinion above. This is because people can have a closer relationship with their
family members and reduce their stress by spending time with their family.
To begin with,
people can have a closer relationship with family members. If people spend more time with their family, (While
people are using their time with family,) they can have more conversations
together and it can help them understand each other better.
(more.) Thus, people can have a closer relationship with each other. For
instance, my uncle Dave was a hard-working man. He spent most of his time working at his company. However, one day, his
health was getting worse and he decided to reduce his work hours. He could
spend more time with family at home. My uncle could have more conversations with his wife and two daughters that
he could not have before and it helped him understand his family better. (more.) Thus, he could have a close
relationship with his family members.
On top of that,
people can relieve their stress. Nowadays, many people get stress from (some)
factors such as a lot of workload and a relationship with their co-workers.
When they spend time with their family, they can do (diverse) fun activities with them. It can make them forget
about their worries and just enjoy the moment. Therefore, they can be relaxed
and reduce their stress. For example, I play baseball with my family every
Saturday. While I am playing, I can forget about my tiring
work schedule and just enjoy the
moment with my family. Especially, when my father encourages me to hit the ball
and I make it, I feel confident. Being with my family always makes me feel comfortable and get energy to work again.
Thus, I can relieve my stress.
To sum up, I believe that spending time with family is
more important than being at work. This is because people can have a closer
relationship with their family members and relieve their stress.
Writing
Score (0-30): 20-21
Score
(0-5): 3.00-3.25
Grammar &
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