▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that it is better for young
people to select a different career from their parents’ field. However, in my
opinion, selecting a job in the same field as their parents’ is much more
beneficial for themselves. This is because they do not need to spend much money
on their business environment such as facilities and they can easily form
relationship with those who are helpful in career. for the following two subsequent reasons.
To begin with, when young people choose a same
job as their parents, they already obtain their foundations which, otherwise in which they
need to spend much money on them. In most business, rudimentary settings
require a large amount of money, giving a lot of debt to the people who start
their work. Then, they have to spend much years to pay off their debt, while people
who decide to follow their parents do not have that years. For example, my uncle
started his business 10 years ago and one of his friends choose a same work as his
parents. My uncle had to borrow a large amount of money and it took about 8
years to paid pay off all money. On the contrary, his friend did not need such
years, so he could save money right after he started his work. This experience
shows an advantage in money when people follow their parents’ career.
On top of that, they can also get people
who are related with their job. As the world is getting has gotten sophisticated and
co-related, all businesses need other companies to work with. The importance of
this relationship is getting much has become higher than before and this is the hardest part
when people decide different career from their parents’. One survey was conducted
by Gallup with 200 respondents to find out problems when people start their
work. 80 percent of people answered that they did not have same job as their
parents and over 60% of these people said that the most difficult thing was making
relationship for their work. As this survey shows, when people choose to follow
their parents’ they can easily obtain essential acquaintances.
To sum up, when young people choose their career in
a same field as their parents’ they have advantages in business foundations
such as facilities and relationship. In this regard, I believe that it is
recommendable to choose same way as their parents went through. Good: 24~30 점수: 27 약간의 문법적 오류들이 있지만 이러한 문법적인 오류들이 전반적으로 에세이 플로우를 방해하지 않기 때문에 크게 문제가 되지 않았습니다. 이 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 말하자면 본인의 에세이는 설득력이 아주 좋습니다. 설득력이 아주 좋은 이유는 본인의 에세이에서의 예시나 설명들이 각 이유들을 너무나도 간결하게 잘 표현 하기 때문에 이 에세이를 통해서 본인이 무엇을 말하려고 하는 지를 알 수 있었던 거 같습니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |