▶ Your Answer : Some people think that it is no problem for
children to watch television freely. However, in my opinion it could be a
serious problem because they are likely to watch television indiscriminately
and are likely to be exposed to some programs could have with improper contents for children.
To begin with, children could spend too
much time on watching television if it were not for limitation. Kids do not have
ability to confine themselves as much as adults. For example, a study was
conducted by the Korea Broadcasting Association to determine whether children
could regulate their time for watching television. The researchers monitored 200
elementary school students and they had been asked to watch television only for an one
hour. What they found was intriguing. Almost 85% of children kept watching television
much more than an hour. This study demonstrates that children can not properly
regulate their spending time spent on television.
On top of that, there are too many programs
which are not suitable for kids. Some programs have violent scenes and swear
words. Without the limitation of parents, they easily access to unsuitable
contents. For instance, I will introduce my experience. When I was 13, I
watched movie ‘Alien’ on television inadvertently. Because my parents both had
jobs so they could not confine programs that I watched. It had lots of violent
and cruel scenes, and I was shocked by them. I could not fell fall a sleep because I
constantly recall the memory of that scene regardless of my will. So, it is
still one of the most terrible experiences in my life.
To sum up, Children could use time on watching
television exceedingly. And there are lots of bad contents on television which
influence are harmful for children. In this regard, I firmly believe that parents
should not let children watch television freely.
예상점수: 21-24 총평: 구조도 잘 잡아주셨고, 내용도 적절하게 제시해주셨네요. 예시와 이유 모두 좋습니다. 문법적으로 봤을 때 idiom과 어휘선택 관련해서 아쉬움이 있습니다. 위에 수정된 부분들을 확인하시고 꼭 복습하시기 바래요. 수고 많으셨습니다. |