▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that reading and writing skills are less important than before. However, in my opinion, developing how to read and write is more necessary these days. The reasons are that these skills are useful for finding a job and having a communication online. for the following two subsequent reasons. To begin with, people should have a great reading and writing ability to enter the company they want. That is, they have to write a resume and nowadays, in company’s interviews, they need to show their reading skills (이 문장이 너무 장황합니다 문장을 간결하게 서술할 필요가 있어 보입니다). For example, last year, my older sister tried to get a job. However, it was not easy to enter the firms that she desire. She had a interviews several times but she failed to get a position. Therefore, she began to learn how to read and write better, and she had a excellent ability to write a good resume and to read interview’s text effectively (이 부분도 run on sentence입니다 and로 이어나가면 어떠한 말을 하려고 하는 것인지 잘 모르게 됩니다 간결하게 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다). As a result, she could get a job that was her most favorite company. This survey proves that people should try to get better reading and writing abilities. On top of that, these days people use the internet more frequently. In fact, the internet is the major method that people use to have interact than before have an interaction. For instance, there was a poll conducted by Gallup with university students as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to determine the consensus view about whether reading and writing capacity is significant than others such as speaking and listening. The majority of respondents replied that they utilize computers to communicate with other people. An overwhelming 65% had responded that reading and writing are the abilities that they employ most frequently since they less and less use a face-to-face communication and they should read and write letters to have interaction with other people online. This shows that enhancing reading and writing ability is more significant for contemporary people. In a nut shell, people have to get a great reading and writing skills to get a better job and interact with other people nowadays. In this regard, studying how to read and write is more imperative than it has ever been. Good: 24~30 점수: 24 일단 이 에세이에서 가장 먼저 보이는 문제는 몇몇 문장들이 run on sentence가 많습니다. run on sentence란 문장이 끝이 없이 계속해서 서술된 것 입니다. 장황하게 에세이를 서술하려고 하는 것 보다는 간결하게 본인의 에세이를 서술하시는 것이 원하는 의견을 전달하려고 하는 것에 있어서 더 효과적입니다. 이러한 부분 이외에는 잘 서술된 에세이입니다. 각 바디의 예시나 설명들이 이유를 잘 서포트 하고 있습니다. 수고많으셧습니다. (28분 40초) |