Undeniably, parents play a significant role in
people's daily lives in many of places where they work or play. Some
people think that young persons people
today depend on their parents, while others do not. If I had to relieve my
standpoint, I would say that youngsters are less
dependent on their parents than the past. There are two reasons as follows. (youngers / youngsters라는 표현보다 young people / children 등등을 써주세요.)
To begin with, today's society in my
country is becoming the turning towards the information
age. This phenomenon makes most of people independent from their parents
unlike the past. That is, machines such as computers, robots and any
auto-systems are have replaced with
their parents. (are replaced with 는 부모님들이 그런 설비들을 대체한다는 말이에요.) For example, I was 10 in 1993. At that time when I was ten, (최대한 간략하게 해주세요.) I had a lot of school's assignments such as
collecting insects and searching for my ancestors. Because of an the
amount of the tasks, I should needed my
mother's help. (과거에 있었던 일이니 과거형을 사용해 주세요) Especially, searching for my ancestors was so
hard to me. Without my mother, I could not complete the homework. (너무 comma를 많이 사용하시는 습관이 있으세요. 문장을 반대로 I could not complete the homework without my mother’s
help. 이런 식으로 써주는 것도 좋아요.) However, I have a nephew who is 9 nine now, but he always plays with his personal
computer. His all All his difficult
assignments of his school are solved by using his computer without parents. (He solved all his difficult school assignments through the
computer without the help of his parents. -> 이 문장이 더 자연스러워요.) To be specific, the Internet connected in the
computer helped him to finish his homework.
Therefore, we can say that by the information age, today's youngers do
not need their parents' helps (in what?).
On top of that, youngers in the
past needed their parents' permission (for what?). However,
according to the change of society, most of
young people tend to live alone without their parents. This trend makes a lot
of nuclear family systems. A young person with a nuclear family system makes a decision his all
plans all his decisions without his parents’ consent.
For instance, I have an uncle. His age He
is 62 years old now. I was told that when he was in his twenties, he thought he should necessarily live with his
parents. Also, he said that his all his friends
thought like him. Anyway, when he had something to make decisions, he
said that he always discussed his opinions with his parents. However, a
younger who is me, today, is I am currently 26 and I
do not like to make decisions nor my plans with
my parents. In particular, because I have wanted to be independent from
parents, I boldly execute it them without
my parents’ consent.
My friends agree with my opinions and they think
are thinking like me.
All in all, I
strongly believe that modern young people tend to be independent from their
parents. This trend cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of following today's
society.