▶ Your Answer :
Some
people think that parents are more involved in children’s education
nowadays. However, in my opinion, parents’ roles about
in education are decreasing more and more. This
is because, there are a lot of helpful information on the
Internet and many private courses help children to improve their performance.
To begin
with, there are a lot of information on the
Internet. Therefore students get a variety of educational information quickly
and easily with one click. That is, they do not need to ask their parents for the information. There was a poll conducted by
Korea University with high school students as
respondents. The survey’s purpose was to determine whether
students used the Internet to obtain educational
resources. An overwhelming 88% responded that they could reap a lot of
resources through the Internet. They said since the Internet had a lot of domestic or international
information about education, they could obtain the resources easily.
On top
of that, many private courses help students to develop their performance in
school. Usually, they provide not only lectures but also services such as
making schedules. Therefore, the courses alleviate the importance of parents’ roles. Let me take my experience as an example. When I was in
elementary school, my city did not have any private courses. Therefore, my
mother was a good teacher for me. When I went to middle school, many private
schools are began opened and I registered
in one course. They gave me a bunch of
information and made me to do assignments. After I went to the course, my
mother was no longer my teacher.
To sum up, I believe that
parents’ role about in children’s education is
decreasing more and more nowadays. This is due to the fact that the development
of internet permits students to reap a lot of educational information and many
private courses managed them to enlarge their educational knowledge.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Good (24-30) |
Score |
24 |
Overall
Comment: |
좋습니다. 글의 근거가 매우
튼튼하고 설득력도 좋아요. 포인트도 잘 잡아주셨어요. 다만 문법 오류가 조금 있어서 감점을 드렸습니다. 위 지적사항들 참고 부탁 드려요.
특히 the 사용법에 조금 미숙하신 것 같습니다. |
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