▶ Your Answer :
According to the reading passage, a direct recording electronic voting system(E-voting system) will bring lots of benefits. However, the lecturer casts casted doubt on that suggestion by several reasons. First, in the reading passage, as the computerized election is very convenient, this system can contribute to increase in the rate of participation in election and to help prevent wasted ballots. On the contrary, in the lecture, the speaker claims claimed that the e-voting system is not easy to use for some people such as who are not well educated or not used to having not much experience of using the computers. 참여율이라는 키워드와 관련해서 내용이 잘 묶여 있는데, 불필요한 표현을 줄여서 더 간결하게 요약해주면 좋을 것 같아요. Second, the speaker indicates indicated that there is no way to revote in by the e-voting system, so it can bring lots of confusion. Specifically, in the reading passage, one of the e-voting system's advantages is the efficiency and quickness of the system. However, according to the lecture, it is possible to make mistake to usint e-voting system by the human, or by the computer. And after these errors occurs , there is no way to revote. 오류가 발생할 가능성이 얼마든지 있어서 혼란이 야기될 수 있다는 점이 lecture의 요점이니까 굳이 중간에 reading 내용을 넣는 건 불필요하게 분량을 만드는 게 될 수 있어요. reading의 주장(효율적이고 빠르다)을 먼저 보여주고 lecture의 반박으로 (하지만 오류 발생 가능성 때문에 혼란이 야기될 수 있다) 연결하는 형태로 정리해주는 게 더 간결한 요약을 만들기에 좋아요. Lastly, the lecturer points pointed out that e-voting system can be may not be transparent. In the reading passage, e-voting system will make the election result more credible. creditible. On the contrary, the speaker claims claimed that it is run by software, there is the which has chance to have bugs of intentionally changed by human. For By this reason, it can be not be trusted. In summary, the lecturer casts casted doubt on the suggestion of the reading passage by several reasons. > 요약문에서 결론 문단은 없는 게 낫다고 해요~
Writing 0–30 score scale Limited (1-16) Fair (17-23) ✓ Good (24–30)
각 문단별로 중심내용을 잘 보여주면서 요약해주신 것 같아요. 아직 불필요한 내용까지 서술된 부분들이 좀 보이는데, 더 간결하게 정리해서 200단어 안쪽으로 요약문을 만들어주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 보통 요약문은 과거의 사실을 요약할 때와 같이 꼭 필요한 경우가 아니면 현재형으로 요약하는 것을 선호한다고 하니 이 부분도 참고해주세요.(The lecturer says that~) 수고 많으셨습니다~!! |