Some people think that television has greater influence on human society than the internet does. However, in my opinion, the internet has more effect impact in people’s life rather than television does. This is because we spend a lot of time on the internet. In addition, it’s it is better to us for conveyed to collect information effectively information on the internet rather than tv on the television.
To begin with, people in the modern society spend so many times for on the internet. The internet (internet은 첫 글자를 대문자로 해도, 소문자로 해도 상관없는 단어입니다만 글쓴이께서 일관되게 소문자로 쓰기 때문에 여기서도 소문자로 씁니다.) is located connected everywhere, for instance, on a computer, a watch and a smart phone. Most of people use the internet but not many people watch the television. Evidence for this comes from a study by International Department of Mass Media. According to one of their studies, more than 90 percent of people who both use the internet and television surveyed reported that they had spent more time using the internet. Similarly, the study reported that people generally feel higher gratification in ways that satisfaction when they use the internet. Based on this study, I conclude that people will get more when they use the internet.
On top of that, the internet has widely a wide effect for communicating sharing information. Many people check the internet everywhere and every time to get information. Most importantly, social networking has numerous effects on human society these days. For example, Facebook is one of a famous vehicle for communicating with other people such as, friends, family and even strangers unknown person. Information has can quickly spread out for many people in the world into by Facebook even if this is fault information. But However, many people doesn’t does not have a television these days while they may most of them have smart phones. People today are more likely to live in a internet-dependent life rather than watching the television.
To sum up, people spend a lot of time on the internet and the internet gives us more information than televisions do to us information. In this regard, the internet has higher impact on human community than television does.
Writing 0-30 scale
Fair (21-22)
엔터는 문장마다 치지 말고 문단을 바꿀 때에만 치세요. (서론-본론1-본론2-결론)
internet에는 정관사가 필요합니다.
동사의 의미와 형태에 주의하세요. (자동사/타동사, 시제, 활용형 등)