There might be some people who believe that young people tend to enjoy their lives more than older people do. However, in my opinion, the elderly can more easily find a way to enjoy their lives than younger people. (질문에 답을 똑바로 하려면 두 세대를 비교해야 합니다.) This is because they do have sufficient time and money. and also know how to enjoy their life lives through their own experiences.
To begin with, the elder are prone more likely (1. 사전에 prone을 다시 찾아 보세요. 2. 뒤에 than이라고 비교를 하려면 비교급 형용사가 먼저 나와야죠.) to have enough money and time than the younger are do. It is no wonder that money and time are essential for people to make happiness. These provide them a wide range of options to improve the quality of their lives. In case of my mother who was a teacher in elementary school, she carrys carries on an affluent life now. She already has her own apartment and receives a large amount of pension funds from the government. Futhermore, after retiring her job, she started to learn what she really wanted to do, such as playing tennis and musical instruments (또는 앞에 관사 a를 붙이세요). While she was working in school, she did not have enough time to learn for pastime. Nowadays, by learning sports activities tennis (동사-목적어가 잘 어울리지 않습니다) and piano, she is able to relieve her stress and feel happier than before, and so she is more satisfied with her life.
On top of that, older people know well the way she they enjoy her life their lives through her their experiences. As people age, they have the capacity to recognize whether she they can do well or not. On the other hand, young people occasionally have difficulties in taking actions because they do not have a wide range of experience, and also this limits how much they can enjoy their lives. I read an article that older people are less subject to depression than young people, and I believe this result is likely to be plausible. One of my friends had the disease of depression when he entered university. This is due to the fact that he did not know well how to adapt to the new environment and what he really wanted to major. After passing diverse experiences, he finally realized the way to adapt to university life and chose economics as his major. I think that this shows aging can be a good solution for achieving happiness in our life lives.
To sum up, older people are more affluent and have sufficient time to do something, and also their experiences can be a good source for finding their happiness. In this regard, I believe that the elder are more easily to become happy than the younger do are.
Writing 0-30 scale
Fair (21-22)
동사의 사용이 특히 어색합니다. 동사가 자동사인지 타동사인지, 목적어는 어떤 식으로 오는지, 전치사는 어떤 것과 어울리는지, 의미는 정확히 무엇인지 등등 잘 파악하고 쓰세요.
명사의 단복수와 관사(a/an/the/무관사)의 활용에 신경 쓰세요.