Some people think that the Internet is not useful to
promote students’ study efficiency. They may think it is
not an important factor to prove students’ performance. However, in my opinion, the Internet makes students
more effective in their study. This is because the Internet can make help students to find information about their studies quickly
and many Internet private courses help students
to get good scores. (인터넷이 학생들이 더 많은 정보를 구하는 걸 도와주는 입장이지 직접적으로 정보를 구해주는 건 아니니 help가 적절합니다)
To begin with, students can obtain a lot of information
quickly through the Internet. They do not need
to spend a lot of time to search for resources
which are helpful to study for studying.
Let me take my experience as an example. When I was in middle school, my city
did not have any Internet services. Therefore, I
had to go to the library to get resources. It
was very time-consuming work for me, because
I had to walk for a long time to arrive at my
city’s library. (두 문장은 그냥 이어주시는 게 더 자연스럽습니다) However after 2 years later when the Internet services began, I could obtain many
helpful resources with one click by using the Internet
service. It showed that the use of the Internet
makes people to save much time.
On top of that, students can learn many lectures in the
Internet. They can use diverse lectures whenever they want. Therefore they can
make up their study easily and it helps makes
them to get more good better (more good라는 표현은 없고, better을 써주세요) scores. For example, there was a poll conducted by a news (뉴스에서 설문을 하는 게 아니라, 뉴스 채널이
아닐까요?) with students as respondents.
The survey’s main purpose was to determine whether
the Internet private courses helped
students to improve their performance. An overwhelming 70% responded
that the Internet lectures were very
helpful to enhance their grades. They said since the Internet
courses provided diverse levels lectures, it helped them to complement
their study. It proved that the Internet
services helped students to improve their study. (마지막 문장은 반복적이라 굳이 다시 안 쓰셔도 될 것 같아요)
To sum up, I believe that the Internet helped students
to be effective in their study. This is due to the fact that they can get a lot
of helpful information quickly and many lectures are provided by the Internet courses.