▶ Your Answer : Opinions may be divided over whether people should buy things in their own country even if they are costly. People of various ages and walks of life may take diverse position on the controversial issue. We cannot deny the fact that people prefer to buy cheaper one. Personally, therefore, I agree that buying cheaper one helps us to save money and use better quality products. (주제는 "비싸도 자국의 물건을 사용해야 한다"에 대해 동의/반대 여부를 묻고 있기 때문에 ~에 동의한다/하지 않는다는 표현을 사용할 때 꼭 주제에 맞게 찬성/반대 입장을 정리해주세요. buying cheaper는 주제와 직결되어 있지 않습니다.)
To begin with, by choosing lower-cost products, we can save a lot of money regardless of patriotism. Everyone is aware that it is beneficial for their country's economy to purchase things on their own country. On the other hand, students are very tight on their budget and cannot afford to buy costly things simply due to patriotism. So they would rather save money for the rest of their life. In the materialistic society, money is sometimes regarded as one's power. If people lack money, you will be simply ignored. In the worst case scenario, there will be no place to stand in this world. You cannot deny the fact that other pleasure of life can be filled by having enough money to spare. In this sense, when we buy something, we must make a reasonable decision continuously in our life. For example, when I was in a college, I was forced to buy a Korean brand phone like 'Samsung' or 'LG' from my parents since our parents were ardent patriots. However, I just purchased a Chinese phone. At the time, I really lacked money as I had a plan to take a foreign trip abroad for the summer vacation. So, I was able to save money approximately 300$ by buying cheaper one. As a result, I realized that I should purchase something reasonably with considering my situation. - 돈이 중요하다는 내용보다는 수입품/해외 생산품이라고 해도 값싼 것을 구매해서 더 중요한 목표를 이룰 수 있다면 비용 절감이 최우선시되어야한다는 점을 강조해주세요. On top of that, purchasing the best quality products regardless of countries is naturally better. Furthermore, this is the best means for Korean products to increase their competitiveness. (이유와 크게 관련없는 내용입니다) In Korea, most of sellers tend to sell products made in Korea expensively even though they have low qualities than foreign products have. This is because they already know that Koreans would buy their products due to patriotism. However, no one wants to buy things that have lower qualities. To survive this world of endless competition, companies ought to compete with foreign products justly. Everyone is aware that exporting products is like a camel passing through the eye of a needle nowadays. The ability of Korean companies can be clouded by other's ability so in order to stand out, People must buy best quality things without reference to countries, and companies will make a huge effort to strengthen their qualities for their profit. For instance, Japanese government passed the law of fortifying their products' quality. Then, Japanese companies like 'SONY' and 'TOYOTA' got to consider the way to increase their quality for domestic and international markets. both for the foreign countries and Japanese. Owing to their constant endeavor, the quality became far higher, and then the selling rate was augmented drastically. The pith and marrow of this is that Japanese got to love more their companies because of the companies' tremendous effort. (고품질에 집중한다는 점을 지지하기 위해서는 본 예시도 있으나 조금 더 고품질에 focus했던 외국 제품이 국내에서 성공하고 나태했던 국내 제품이 실패한 사례가 더 적합합니다)
In this regard, I firmly hold that people do not need to buy things on their own country for the reason that I mentioned above. (Reasons I mentioned above 보다는 직접 이유를 요약하고 다시 한 번 주제에 대한 입장을 정리해주세요)
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
|
ORGANIZATION
|
PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
|
LANGUAGE USE
|
GRAMMAR
|
FAIR
|
LIMITED
|
LIMITED
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
|
|