Some people think that they can learn better from those at the same level than
those at a higher level. However, in my opinion, I believe learning from upper
level will be more helpful. One reason is that higher people already know the
answer, so we can save our time. The second reason is that fellow students or
co-workers are tend to hide outstanding information due to competition.
To begin with, it takes a short time to get information when we learn from
instructors. If you waste time finding a method, will time wait for you? The
answer will be no. Since time is regarded as gold, we have to do everything we
can to save our time. In this sense, asking for help to upper class is of big
help. In my case, I had a hard time studying math. I was really terrible at
math, so I struggled to find an ideal way for
better grade. Finally I went to the professor and asked him for a studying
method. Later at that moment, I did not have to think about finding math studying
method, and I can spare that time to study other subjects such as science and
history. As a result, I got a perfect score in not
only math but also science.
On top of that, people nowadays have a lot of
competitions, so they do not give advice to others. To be specific, in a society with endless competition in the
endless competition society, people will hide their information. In the
case of entering a company, everyone is aware that it is like a camel passing
through the eyes of a needle. One's ability can be clouded by other's ability.
Due to this trend, people tend to hide their useful infornmation to
compete with others. For example, there was a poll conducted by a Seoul
National University students major in psychology
psyciology with 100 of Dajin high school students as respondents. The
purpose of survey was how many of students would
tell the essential information when their friends asked
them a question. The answer was astonishing. An overwhelming 71% of the
students told tell wrong or false
information to their peers. The reasons were concerned with competition to
entering university and social trend to conceal cover essential information.
To sum up, we can use our time more efficiently, and peers are not willing to
give true information. For these two reasons, I firmly believe that learning
from higher level is a lot more helpful for the reasons I mentioned above.
Good (24–25)
첫번째 본문
-an ideal 관사 필요합니다.
-in넣으시면 더 자연스럽습니다.
-전체적으로 내용, 문법 괜찮습니다.
두번째 본문
-철자 오류. nowadays
-줄친 표현보다 바꾼 표현 in a society with endless competition 이 더 자연스럽습니다.
-철자 오류. psychology
-추측이므로 would
-friends복수
-이미 일어난 일이므로 과거형 tell-->told 가 더 적절합니다.
-cover 보다는 conceal 이 더 적절합니다.
-내용 괜찮습니다.
-본문 내용들 괜찮습니다. 문법/표현 오류, 특히 두번째 본문에서 언급한 부분들 개선해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~