▶ Your Answer :
In the reading passage, there is ample support for the author’s claim that there are several possible sources that cause glowthat known as the ashen light of Venus. However, the professor in the lecture gives several reasons as a rebuttal to the author’s point. First, the professor contends that a chemical process cannot be the genuine source to of the glow. The light is so faint that we could watch can see it them only with an extremely advanced telescope, but what was used to observe the glow was just a simple telescope. So Thus, something else would have been the reason for the phenomenon. This casts doubt on the reading passage’s claim that a chemical process transported by wind to the dark side of the planet in the atmosphere is the one source reason for the glow,. Next, the professor insists that sunlight reflected off by clouds in Venus can also be problematic (sunlight가 problematic하다는 것을 의미하고 있어서 어색합니다). The glow is a very rare occurrence. If the sunlight that which constantly illuminates the planet were the is one reason, the frequency that light is detected should be identified more than what is being seen now. This counters the reading passage’s assertion that the glow caused by light that goes back to the space by clouds of Venus. (문장이 조금 어색합니다. 설명을 명확하게 해주세요) Finally, the aurorae cannot be used to explained the glow fully. In order for to occur the phenomenon to occur, plasma should be polled (pulled?) to the magnetic field. However, Venus dose not have the magnetic field. So Therefore It it dose does not make sense in the first hand that aurorae is a source for ashen light of Venus. This refutes the reading passage’s suggestion that the visible light that is a energy that occurred when collision happen (어색한 표현입니다, 정리가 필요해보입니다) results in the ashen light of Venus.
Score: 14 Comments: - 전체적인 구조가 잘 잡혀있습니다.
- 주요 포인트를 잘 잡아주셨으나 문법 실수, 어색한 표현 등이 많아 설명을 이해하기 어려운 부분들이 있습니다.
- 문법과 조금 더 명확하게 설명을 전달하는 것에 신경을 더 써주세요. 추상적인 표현이나 지저분한 문장들이 없도록 해주세요. - 짧고 심플한 문장들로 설명하는 것이 길고 어법이 틀린 복잡한 구조의 문장으로 설명하는 것보다 더 높은 점수를 받게 해줄 수 있습니다.
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