■ DirectionYou have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.■ QuestionSummarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading

The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Your Answer ▼

The graph illustrates the ratio of customers going to theaters in a country in Europe throughout a whole week. 

Overall it is apparent that over the given period, the largest number of people went to cinemas on Saturday, whereas a gradual downward trend has shown on Wednesday. In contrast, on Friday, there were not any changes on the number of consumers in European cinemas. Apart from the days mentioned above, a consistent fluctuation of the percentage was recorded in the other days. (이 문단의 경우 내용상 문제가 있는 건 아닌데, 요약되는 내용이 너무 많습니다. 일부 내용을 잘라서 조금 더 '요약' 이라는 단어에 맞게 구성해주세요~)

To be specific, even though a slight dip in the percentage was present in 2003, it rose gradually till Saturday. (첫 번째로, till 과 같이 줄임말, 구어의 성격이 강한 단어는 사용하지 않고 그냥 until 로 적어주시는 게 좋습니다. 또한 '요일이 지남에 따라' 증가했다는 말을 더 명확히 드러내주셔야 해요.) The percentage on Monday quadrupled and reached a peak of 40% on Saturday. After 3 years, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday had the same percentage while it soared up by 15% (비율 수치 간 산술적인 차이는 percentage point 를 이용해서 표현해주셔야 합니다. 즉, 15 percentage points 가 올바른 표현이에요. 지금과 같이 15% 로 작성할 경우 잘못된 분석이 되므로 주의해주세요.) on Saturday when the highest percentage was recorded among the other days. Finally in 2007, from Monday to Thursday the number share of people varied continuously, meanwhile, the percentage rate during the weekends declined slightly compared to the previous year. 

Comment ▼
Task 1에서 percentage point 개념 활용은 필수이지만, 대부분의 수험생들이 이를 활용하지 못함에 따라 안타깝게 감점이 되는 경우가 많습니다. 지금 글의 경우도 두 번째 문단이 조금 더 간추려졌고 percentage point 만 잘 적용되었다면 충분히 7점대도 넘길 수 있는 글이어서 아쉽네요. '비율 수치 간의' 산술적 차이는 무조건 퍼센트포인트를 이용해서 표시해주세요~수고하셨습니다 :)