저처럼 라이팅 막 시작하시는 분들은 모범답안 바탕으로 공부하는 게 좋다고 수업에서 그러더라구요ㅜㅜ
찾아보다가 만점에 가깝도록 채점 기준에 맞춰 쓰인 라이팅 모범답안이 있어 공유해 봅니다!
주제는 families 이고,
토픽은 아래와 같아요!
해석/요약은 제가 달아서 미숙한 부분이 있네요ㅜ 참고만 하시길!
People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families.
Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?
(다양한 나라의 사람들이 가족과 보내는 시간이 점차 줄어들고 있다. 왜 이런 현상이 생겨나며 이 현상이 그 대상과 가족에게 미치는 영향은 무엇인가?)
모범답안
People have to devote more time separated from their families due to their heavy workload that has come along with globalisation. As more firms have become international, work life has become more demanding. Numerous people are required to work overtime travel overseas and even work from home regularly to deliver results at their jobs. For example, employees of multinational companies such as Amazon and Facebook travel to various countries to meet their foreign clients as well as handle operations internationally which keeps them away from their families for long periods of time routinely.
(산업의 세계화로 인해, 다양한 국가의 사람들이 더 많은 시간을 가정이 아닌 일-세계 각지의 고객과 소통하는-에 쏟게 된다는 내용)
Moreover, this lack of time with family will gravely affect individuals and their families with mental and emotional stress. The persons living far from their families would be devoid of their support system, would feel isolated from their loved ones and may end up feeling miserable and depressed. Similarly, family members would constantly be worried and anxious about the person’s well-being. For instance, parents whose kids study or work abroad are concerned about their children’s eating habits standard of living, hygiene and sickness as well as personal and professional lives and numerous other things, which subjects the parents to regular tension. Such stresses can result in various diseases in people, such as high blood pressure migraines or even cardiac problems, all of which will severely impact their lives.
(이러한 현상은 개인과 가정 간 유대를 어렵게 해, 정신적, 심리적인 스트레스를 준다는 내용)
In conclusion, people spend much more time away from their families due to the onset of globalisation and their heavy work-lives, a development which will result in psychological and emotional stress for both.
(세계화로 인해 일이 많아지는 데다, 가족간의 유대가 어려워 정신적인 스트레스를 더욱 가중시킨다는 결론)
산업의 세계화라고 해야 할까요?? 그런 세계적인 산업 형태의 변화를 근거로 든 게 참신한 것 같아요!!
다들 아이엘츠 라이팅 고득점 받으시길!!