아래 대본에 대하여 첨삭해주시기를 요청합니다.
문법에 더하여 자연스러운 표현으로 고쳐주시면 정말 좋을 것 같습니다.
추후 첨삭된 대본으로 연습한 후 녹음 파일을 올릴께요. 감사합니다.
Describe a time when you needed to repair broken equipment or a device.
You should say:
What it was
What the problem was
What you did after it was broken
And explain how you felt after repairing it.
For this topic, I’d like to talk about a time when I repaired my stereo.
It was my analog Sony stereo made in the 1990’s.
It which had two speakers and a single one stereo receiver. The receiver was silvery and had various
knobs and dials to turn. It hadn’t got didn't have many features but the CD player produced a warm and clear sound.
But, one day I found a problem related to disc reading problem.
What I mean is that, although the CD player spun, it didn’t play music at all. I
panicked.
I tried basic troubleshooting steps to solve the issue. Firstly, I tried several discs to see that a scratched CD was the cause. But, the problem persisted. Then, I reset and restarted it. Plus, I cleaned the sensor thoroughly using a soft cloth. But that didn’t make the situation better as well. Eventually, I decided to fix it by myself because there were no service centres to repair that old model. So, I ordered a new part of the lens which seemed to be the culprit and replaced the old part.
After repairing it, I felt exhausted because it was a long and complicated process. I spent half my day unscrewing countless bolts and putting those together. But, soon I was relieved because it had sentimental value. (여기 사이를 조금 더 매끄럽게 이어주시면 좋습니다.) My father bought it for me as my birthday present. Also, I was attached to it emotionally because I spent tons of time listening to music from it. It just reminded me of my 20’s and 30’s. Lastly, I felt a sense of achievement because I fixed it from scratch, even without an assembly instruction.
총평: 제가 이런저런 부분을 손을 대긴 했지만, 사실 기존 글 그대로~~가도 7~8점 선에서 표현상 문제는 전혀 없습니다. 그만큼 영어에 대한 기본기는 확실히 갖춰져있으시네요.
대신 스피킹은 라이팅과는 달리 첨삭보다는 실전처럼 말하는 연습이 훨씬 중요합니다. 고로 첨삭을 받는 것과는 별개로, 녹음을 하는 것과는 별개로 꼭 그 스크립트 내용을 어느정도는 비슷하게 사람 앞에서(가급적이면 외국인 앞에서) 말하는 연습을 꼭 해주세요! 이게 제일 중요합니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)