<Topic> In many
countries, people are living in a ‘throwaway society’, where things are used
for a short time and thrown away. What are the causes or this and what
problems does it lead to? |
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These days, innumerable items are found (혹은 다른 표현) along with
people’s lives. We are willing to buy new smartphones, the fashion trend is changing
in every quarter of a year and beady products attract us on the street. Some people
complain that people nowadays change their items so quickly and throw away
the old one easily. It is becoming severe issues in society as well as on the
Earth. In this essay, I would like to elucidate the sources of matter and how
the effects are going to be. First of all, after the industrial revolution
and modernization, people relish countless choices of one item. When it comes
to jeans, consumers need to choose what ‘types of’ jeans that they are going
to buy, boots-cut, skinny, knee-length, wide jeans, boyfriend jeans, light
color, dark color, and so forth. It means that people are able to buy all kinds
of jeans ‘Throwaway society’ means, people toss old items
to the waste bin no matter whether the objects are usable or not. This commitment
implies that the society can be suffered from excessive rubbish. Global warming
and pollutant are notorious issues all around the world. Since products which
are easy to be thrown are usually made in a simple way and consists of synthetic materials such
as plastic, metal and artificial glasses which are not eco-friendly In conclusion, even though new fabulous products
are introduced in the market, people should deeply consider to purchase unnecessary
items to contribute themselves to the global environment and look after other
people in poverty. |
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[ 403 words] |
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Grammar |
Vocabulary |
Cohesion
and Coherence |
Task
Response |
7/9.0 |
8/9.0 |
8/9.0 |
8/9.0 |
시간안에 끝내긴 하였는데, 많이 길어졌습니다.
조언 부탁드립니다.
감사합니다.
총평: '시간 내에 끝내기만 했다면' 글이 400자이든 1000자이든 딱히 상관은 없으나, 이때 '끝냄' 의 대상은 단순히 작성뿐만 아니라 철저한 검토까지 포함해야 합니다. 개인적으로는 시험장에서 혹시라도 미완성된 글이 제출되는 참사를 막기 위해, 이번 글 말고도 전반적으로 서론과 두 본론을 조금씩만 간추리는 작업을 하는 게 어떨까 싶네요.
특히 서론은 서/본/결 중 제일 덜 중요합니다. 여기서 시간을 너무 많이 뺐기지 않도록 주의해주세요~
수고하셨습니다 :)