▶ Your Answer :
Over the centuries,
buildings are losing their own characteristics and unlike the buildings in the
old days past, which artistic expression can represent the specific culture of a city.
The
architectural style is determined by physical and mental state of the people,
the abilities to build, the availability of materials, >> 세개 이상의 나열 중 마지막 and 앞엔 콤마 넣어주세요 and climatic conditions.
Comparing to the days centuries ago, buildings become more practical as well as
beautiful in some ways and can provide a safe and healthy environment for
people to live and work. As the functions and constructions become more consider then
the artistic expression that leads to the point that buildings are look alike
and similar to each other. then 이 아니라 than 이겠지만 어떤 말을 하신지 모르겠습니다 consider 와 become 동사 중복입니다
The cost to
build can be lower as all the material using can be order in mass production
and construction also will be reliable as it already been used and tested >> it has been 이겠구요 all used materials 입니다.
Moreover, while safety is the most important issue, while individuals found out a
building that a building brings great benefit to both developer and user >> 갑자기 튀어나와서 누구를 지칭하는지 모르겠습니다 real estate agents and tenants 인가요?.
As not much
are signature buildings be built>> 부정어구가 나온다면 도치가 일어납니다, the maintenance of the old heritage buildings
become more important as it usually can impress overseas visitors, the government, 세개 이상 나열 중 마지막 and 앞에 콤마입니다 and
famous people may link to the history of buildings, old buildings are cultural
needs.>> 마지막 old buildings 는 접속사가 없어서 이어질 수 없구요 너무 깁니다 충분히 나눠서 얘기할 수 있고 나눠서 얘기하는게 더 좋은 부분인데 다 합쳐서 약 4줄을 만드셨네요 정말 좋지 않습니다
I expect we
will see an increase in the consideration of the artistic expression in the
future of buildings in the future and hope the maintenance of old buildings can be subsidised
by governments. Even if we have an urgent need in land for housing, not all the
historical old buildings will need to be torn down because of our shortage of lands.
문법으로 이해가 안 되는 부분들도 많고 그로 인해서 논리까지 영향을 미쳤습니다 세세하게 문법 공부를 다시 해보시고 콤마 사용법, 자주 쓰는 문법 체크, 특히 단어도 다양하게 해주시길 바랍니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5 5.5 예상합니다 |