▶ Your Answer : The chart shows detailed number of underground railroad system >> 디테일한 지하철 갯수를 말한게 아닙니다 in six different cities.>> 괄호로 마지막에 cities 언급하는게 좋습니다
Surprisingly, in most countries, a number of operating days of train were fairly similar,>> 콤마 빼주세요 at around 1900 days, within exception of except for LA. The length of a route was highest recorded the The chart shows detailed number of underground railroad system in six different cities.
Surprisingly, in most countries, a number of operation days of train were fairly similar,>> 콤마 빼주세요 at around 1900 days, within exception of except for LA. The length of the route in London was the highest record ed in London among the cities, >> 콤마 빼주세요 with 394 km,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and the followed by Paris` underground train route was the second longest, one with 199 km. The shortest subway path was recorded in Kyoto,>> 콤마 빼주세요 at 11 km. The largest number of passengers took a train in Tokyo>> 이렇게만 쓰면 오버뷰입니다. Similarly, Paris` railway circumstance was also very hectic to operate with 1191 millions >> millions는 수백만이란 뜻입니다 people for a year. In Kyoto, there is the least number of people who rode a train, compared to other five cities.
Overall, we can understand that though every city operates trains for a long time, the magnitudes of rail road are is quite different from each other. Furthermore,in the three cities, London, Paris, and Tokyo, a lot of people rode a train in comparison to other cities` it ones.
현재 너무 쉬운 문법마저도 틀리고 있습니다 그리고 현재 날짜가 나타나지 않았기에 시제는 현재로 작성합니다 date 를 언급할 땐 It opened 처럼 과거를 쓰지만 나머진 현재로 씁니다 그 부분에서 상당히 많은 부분이 틀렸습니다 Task1 잠시 쉬어주시고 문법 단어 공부 확실히 하고 와주세요 이렇게 틀리면 긴 글일수록 더욱 망가질 수 있습니다 글자수도 줄여주시구요
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 3
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