▶ Your Answer :
English has been an international language according to increasing tourist industries. There are growing concerns that the most widely spoken language all over the world might make the other languages disappear one day. Although there are some drawbacks, I believe that having one language would certainly aid to live in a globalized society.
It can be argued that there are some disadvantages of having one language world widely. Obviously, diversity of languages would be lost. Accordingly, since relationship between language and culture are is interactive, a more serious issue occurring by this is that the other cultures might be devastated as well, which might lead to considerable damage of tourism. It is because tourists tend to travel to foreign countries in order to experience other cultures and customs differing from their own things.
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However, many benefits are expected by speaking one common language all over the world. Firstly, nowadays many people have been investigating investing significant money and time to learn English which is international language. If people use one language, they are able to save their efforts to learn foreign languages for things like a hobby and cultural like <(cultural like가 무엇을 의미 하는지 모르겠습니다) .Secondly, There would be no more communication problems between people having different mother tongues. For example, people tend to hire an interpreter to prevent from any trouble from occurring by misunderstanding in overseas business trips. In other words, having one language would make people's life much easier.
In conclusion,even if some disadvantages related to culture and tourism exists, I would argue that having one global language is keeping up with the time's.<(what time's?)
Score: 5.5 Comment: 질문이 disadvantage and advantage 둘다 물어 보고 있기 때문에 둘다 equally 서술해주시는게 좋습니다. 지금은 너무 disadvantage 쪽으로 기울려져 있습니다. 또한 Conclusion은 repetitive 하고 너무 짧습니다. Conclusion에는 견론을 이야기하시는 거기때문에 토픽에 대해서 전체적으로 conclude을 해서 써주시는게 좋습니다. 에세이가 많이 persuasive 하지 않습니다. 조금 더 정리를 통해서 더 좋은 글이 될수 있을 것 같습니다. 더 많은 단어들이나 표현들을 공부하시고 formal 한 표현들이 공부하시면 도움이 되실것 같습니다. |