The chart below shows the percentage of
total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.
Summarise the information by selecting
and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The illustration shows that the ratio of
the elderly over 65 year-old categorizing categorized into three groups in the American population ranging
from 1900 to 2000.
It is clear that the occupation of the
aged rose during the period shown in the graph, with a small decline in the last year. Until 1930, the growth remained
stable. On the other hand, after 1940, the aged people compared to the total
population gradually increased up to over 12%. (12% 이상으로 마무리지었으면, 시작에는 몇%였는지도 적을 수 있어야 합니다.)
To be more specific, the majority of
percentages in the aged groups is the first group, which includes people aged
between 65 and 74. In 1990, the percentages of the first group were nine times (1.2 를 9로 곱하면 7.3을 훌쩍 넘습니다. 아마 1900을 1990으로 잘못 쓰신 것 같네요!) higher than those of the last group that over 85 year-old seniors were included.
However, due to the changes, those of first group were just five times higher
than those of the last group.
One of the most interesting features in
the graph is that the changes in the first group. The rate of all All three groups have an
upward tendency during that period, however, that of the first group between 1990 and
2000 had diminish dropped from 7.3% to 6.5%, as the only exception in the past (여기의 exception 은 사실 제가 Msg 를 쳐드린 건데, 7.0 이 필요하다고 하셨으니까, 이러한 msg 도 어느정도 자유자재로 칠 수 있어야 하고, 또한 그 과정에서 정확해야 합니다. 그래서 아이엘츠 라이팅이 정말 어렵기도 하죠.) unlike last almost one hundred years.
총평: (7/6/7/6) 6.5
일단 바로 전 글과 달리 유추해석 등은 없어서 분석은 대체로 잘 된 편입니다. 사실 세 번째 문단의 경우, 0.2와 2.9, 그리고 1.5와 6.5를 비교하는 것보다는, 0.2와 1.5, 그리고 2.9와 6.5를 비교하는 게 더 정확하긴 하지만, 6~7점 정도에서 그렇게 크게 작용할 사항은 아니고요. 1900 등에서 볼 수 있듯이 숫자에서 오타나지 않도록 주의해주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)
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