목표 : 7.0
Pharmaceutical research should
be carried out and controlled by governments rather than by private companies.
To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and
include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some say that research on pharmacy should be conducted by private companies, while others argue that it should be under government’s control. I believe that pharmaceutical research should be under government’s authority for two main factors, medicine’s price and safety issues.
I agree that the government should control the pricing of medicines because drugs are essential products for human health. If pharmaceutical industry is controlled only by the market, those companies that survive will be able to raise their prices for medicines. People who do not have enough money to afford crucial drugs will be in a fatal situation. Government should set the limit price for certain medicines to make sure that people who are in need get the right treatment. (여기 두 문장은 너무 딱딱 끊어져서, 조금 더 매끄럽게 이어주시면 좋을 것 같아요.)
Safety is another important reason why the government should be in charge of pharmaceutical research. Currently, in most countries including Korea, the government bans experiments on humans unless the drug is found safe by various tests. Strict legislations keep people safe from drugs that are not perfectly insured. Moreover, individual companies without governmental restrictions may make drugs only for higher profits, not caring so much about side effects. The government Government makes sure that private companies do not sell drugs with severe side effects. For example, steroids are known for their effectiveness in making muscles, however, these drugs have many side effects. Restrictions on steroid muscle pills keep people away from using these drugs.
In conclusion, I completely agree with the idea that government should be in charge and control research on pharmacy. Strict control by the government is the only way to keep humanity healthy and safe.
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
적어도 task 2에서는 웬만하면 7점 넘기실 수 있을 겁니다. 대신, 정부가 단독으로 쓰일 때에는 무조건 the 가 붙으니까 주의해주시고, 6.5 이상, 특히 7.0 이상부터는 task 1도 매우 중요하므로 같이 연습해주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)