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It is universally acknowledged that the arts >> 예술이라 표현한다면 art 만 쓰시면 됩니다 has a significant role in the modern era. In this respect, controversial questions are raised about whether governments should spend the citizen’s taxes on displaying artworks in public place or not. In fact, I agree with this opinion to some extent.
Noticeable outcomes can be speculated. Firstly, the outstanding quality of artifacts brings about profit from tourism revenue >> profit 과 revenue 사이엔 차이가 있습니다 profit = revenue - expense 입니다 from many foreign countries. For example, more and more people are visiting Paris in , France, >> 도시 , 나라 , 다음 할 말의 식으로 콤마가 적용됩니다 because of watching its cultural places >> landmarks such as Eiffel tower, the Louvre museum, and Montmartre street. In this sense, the French government is earning a lot of money from travelers,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and people who live near those heritages are also deriving benefits.>> what benefits?
Secondly, young and poor artists require the subsidies from their nation. They cannot lead their cultured life without that fund any financial support >> 콤마 빼주세요 because 앞엔 콤마가 들어가지 않습니다 위에 말씀드린 도시 , 나라 , 할 말 일 때는 제외하구요 because there is no economic output from the art before being sold>> 눈에 보이는 현저한 output이 없다고 표현하는 편이 좋겠네요. Moreover, it is manifest that the lack of support by the government causes decreasing a number of artists >> a decrease on the number of artists, >> 콤마 빼주세요 and ,in turn, this in turn will be weakened nation’s cultural competitiveness. Therefore, most painters need funds from the state.
However, a concern is still remained >> still remains remain은 자동사이므로 타동사가 될 수 없습니다. Some proponents of this argument assert that the budget of governments is limited, so nations have to spend people’s precious taxes on more important fields in related to welfare systems such as education, health, and the homeless people >> 원래 쓰신 것도 좋지만 the 형용사로 형용사한 사람들이라고 만들어주는게 형용사 명사 조합보단 괜찮게 보입니다. Some developing countries which are developing have numerous people under the poverty line, and >> 이미 앞에 문장으로 한 문장으로 충분합니다 길어지므로 끊어주세요 . Moreover, they do not have much time to enjoy artworks in the public places because of the weight of their live. Hence, states ought to invest their funds to more emergency areas.
For the reasons mentioned above, I believe that governments ought to invest their funds to artworks in public places.
문단은 최대 4개까지만 작성해주시길 바랍니다 콤마의 사용이 아직 익숙치 않으신 듯 싶습니다 또한 더욱 간결하고 명확하게 표현하는 방법을 몇 가지 위에 써드렸으니 봐주시길 바랍니다 Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6 6.0 예상합니다
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