▶ Your Answer :
In recent years, whether the a view that university should provide new lessons for educating specific skills which cater for in a workplace >> 한 단어입니다 stands out. or In the other way, an argument that the higher institutions merely have to offer academic lectures the way of approaching to academic information only have sparked a debate rises. In my personnel view, university should offer some skill classes practical instruction, as discussed below.
To begin with, most corporations, nowadays, usually have usually required some specific skills to potential workforce>>어떤 스킬을 요구하는지를 쓰셔야 합니다 어떤 고용주들이 좋아하는 부분 즉 스킬을 요구한단건 이미 주제에서 말한 내용입니다. However, university students, which who have a lack of various social experiences,>> students 뒤와 experiences 뒤 콤마 빼주세요 who~~ 수식이 올때 없어선 안 될 내용이라면 콤마를 붙여주지 않습니다 생략해도 되는 내용이라면 콤마를 쳐주지만 여기선 필요한 내용 같네요 usually encounter to deficient conditions to be hired by most firms since they did not never have opportunities to learn some particular skills. In order to be sufficient of the job requirement for students, the university should leave traditional teaching methods and execute offer some new lessons to teach required skills by the corporations to their students. This new lesson would turn them into skillful and confident people, when they look for jobs. >> lesson이 복수로 나오다가 갑자기 this lesson 이라 하고 갈피를 못 잡겠네요 또한 주장도 제대로 잡혀있지 않고 However로 그렇지 않단걸 표현하는게 아니라 주장에 대한 설명을 해야 합니다 예시도 나와있지 않네요
Furthermore, the students, potential workforce in the future, will be better employees as long as they have varied participate in various faculties. In workplaces, nowadays, there are many unpredictable situations, which need someone`s special skills to terminate solve it. For example, one global commercial firm normally need fluent an English speaker who is called interpreter,>> 콤마 빼주세요 when 절이 앞에 나와야 when 절 뒤에 콤마가 붙습니다 when이 뒤로 나오면 붙지 않습니다 when they venture explore to enter other countries` market places. The person, who this corporation look for>>??, might undertake this challenge with his or her English speaking ability. As clearly seen this example, some skills will be crucially useful in the workplace. With some special skills, the university students will become more outstanding personnel workers in their companies, solving many difficult or complicate challenges with their trained capacity.
In conclusion, the advantage of providing skill lessons fairly outweighs fairly its drawbacks. As university afford skill training programs, their students will take an advantage of finding a nicer job, also they will be better employees with their educated abilities. Therefore, I believe that the university should prepare the new lecture to support their students` prosperity.
Task1으로 써주세요 문법, 단어 모두 약합니다 했던 말이 계속 본문 내에서도 반복이 되고 있구요 관사가 너무 부족합니다 a 나 the 를 아무렇게나 쓰는 듯 싶습니다 관사에 대해서 공부해보시길 바랍니다 콤마도 공부해보시길 바라구요 이해가 안 되는 문장들이 있었습니다 구조도 제대로 구성하지 못하고 계시구요 Task2는 아직 좀 이르니 Task1으로 전개, 문법, 단어 같은 부분들 늘리신 후 Task2 도전하시는게 낫겠습니다 가산명사가 나오면 명사만 달랑 나올 수 없습니다 관사나 복수형이 취해져야 합니다 그런데 지금 그렇게 되지 않거나 글쓴이만 아는 내용에 대해서 the 가 들어오거나 처음 나오는 내용에 the 등이 나옵니다 그 부분은 설명이 어려우니 공부를 해보시길 바라겠습니다 동사 하나로도 문장 뜻이 많이 변합니다 그런 부분에서 문장끼리 연결이 부드럽게 이어지지 않았습니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 4 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 4 5.0 예상합니다 |