▶ Your Answer : In almost universities, postgraduate researches are often conducted by many students there. These days, some people believe that because of limitation of money for postgraduate research, governments should offer financial support for just scientific research without less useful subjects. On the other hand, other people think that postgraduate research should be conducted equally without reference to a subject's value and popularity, being financially advocated by governments. In this essay, I will illustrate why financial support of governments should be provided equally to all subjects regardless of academic value. <(전 에세이와 같이 글쓴이의 주장이 무엇인지 밝혀주셔야합니다) Every person has a right to be treated equally in any situations. Thus, all universities, governments and even society should treat all of students who study certain subjects equally financially equally without reference to their financial state, compared to other students who learn scientific subjects. That is, every student has a right that let every student be treated equally as members of an university and a society, regardless of academic value and popularity. <(너무 wordy하고 repetitive하게 들립니다)In addition, each subject has its academic value and meaning. Its value, meaning, importance and even usefulness are never judged by general public, society and individuals in any situations and any circumstances by none. <(문장이 전달하고자 하는 내용이 무엇인지 잘 모르겠습니다) In conclusion, nations should provide any support equally to all of students who are studying in a variety of fields and every postgraduates have equal right in any situations and any circumstances. Also, there is no one who can are no persons who are able to judge the subjects’ academic importance, usefulness and even value.
Score: 3.5 Comment: 내용이 부족하고 이해하기 조금 힘든 점이 있습니다. Irrelevancy도 조금 보입니다. 조금 더 body 내용을 develop해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |