▶ Your Answer :
The line graph illustrates the number of
road fatalities for drivers, passengers, pedestrians, motorcyclists and
bicyclists in Australia between 1980 and 2012.
Overall, the number of fatalities for all
road users decreased drastically when despite the roads for drivers were was having the
dominant number of fatalities. It is interesting to note that the fatalities
for motorcyclists overtook the number of fatalities for pedestrians after 2004 and
passengers in 2012. by 12 years of projected periods.
Initially, the dominant number of just over
1,200 fatalities was recorded by drivers, whereas the rest of roads recorded
for 800, 620, 410 and 100 fatalities for passengers, pedestrians, motorcyclists
and bicyclists, respectively. All those fatalities decreased substantially
despite the periodic fluctuations for the first decade, while the index for drivers remained
its dominancy to reach at about 800 fatalities and passengers experienced of
about half of those fatalities of below 400. Same fatalities number recorded
for pedestrians and motorcyclists of approximately 210. 문장이 너무 길어져서 전달력이 떨어지니까 수치를 일일이 나열하기보다는 끊어서 써 주세요.
The fatalities for motorcyclists increased slightly
from 2002 where it overtook the number of pedestrians’ fatality to record at
over 210 and continued with this number to overtake the passenger’s fatalities
to close to 210. The number of pedestrians and passengers’ fatalities ended at
below 200 and close to 200, respectively, and which declining trends were the same
for drivers' driver’s fatalities to end at below 600. In comparison to for all those
fluctuations and huge declining trends, the fatalities for bicyclists declined reduced
to 50 in 1992 and remained relatively constant until the end.
IELTS 1-9 score scale score: 6.5 competent user
그래프가 보여주는 내용을 꼼꼼하게 잘 읽으신 것 같아요. Task1은 너무 세세하게 분석해서 150~200단어의 분량을 초과해도 TA항목 감점이 있을 수 있다고 하니 적절히 핵심이 되는 부분들 위주로 쓰는 연습을 해주세요~ 수고하셨습니다!
아이엘츠 라이팅 채점기준 참고하세요 - TA/TR(Task Achievement/Task Response) 문제에 정확히 답변, 적정 분량 - CC(Coherence and Cohesion) 일관성, 응집성 - LR(Lexical Resource) 다양한 어휘표현 - GR(Grammartical Range and Accuracy) 문법 다양성, 정확성 |