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It
is true that we consider developing some countryside the development of the areas of the countryside is considered whenever housing issues
are mentioned in the media. However, I do not agree with this idea that we need
to develop our countryside new houses should be constructed in rural areas for a our better life. (불필요한 1인칭은 다 지워드렸습니다. 글을 작성할 때는 기본적으로 이와 같이 1인칭을 최소화해주세요.)
First of all, building more houses in the countryside
cannot enhance our lives. In that case, we people need more time to commute for work
in a city. For example, in Canada, the provincial governments built more houses in
the suburb because of the soaring housing cost in Vancouver and in Toronto.
Now, young people living in the suburb feel isolated from their community according
to the report from CBC report. Since they spend 2 or 3 hours for going work, they do not
have enough time for their hobbies or any other social lives.
Secondly, building more houses in countryside brings
more environmental issues. There is a possibility to get rid of the strength of living in the countryside
life. Some people in South Korea have moved from big cities to Jeju, seeking
for more affordable houses and, calm and nature friendly surroundings. However,
they suffered from traffic jam, water pollution. (이렇게 작성하면 이러한 문제들이 이주민들이 오기 전부터 제주도에 존재했다는 해석이 되어버리므로 적절하지 않습니다.) They also destroyed a part of
forest for building some condos. The small area was not ready to accept for accepting too
many emigrants for the short period of time. Therefore, some of the emigrants
decided to return to their origin.
In conclusion, we had better avoid building
more houses in countryside for solving the lack of houses in cities. Otherwise,
we will abandon a healthy life including short commute hours, and a healthy neighborhood. (여기도 1인칭을 사용하지 말고 문장을 구성해주세요~)
(250 words) |