> > 2009-08-21 19:05:52, '' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
■ You should spend about 40 minutes on this task ■ Present a written argument or case to an educated reader no special knowledge of?the?following topic ■ You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant ???evidence ■ You should write at least 250 words | |
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Topic :Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility ot the goverments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? | |
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Today, there are a lot of developing countries in the world and the citizens of these countries have been exposed to poor living condition such as lack of food resources, education systems and convenient facilities. On the other hand, in some developed nations, people are living in the clean enviroment enjoying abundant food, education and any other resources.
Of course, it is certainly true that the goverments of poorer nations have responsibility to overcome their poverty themselves because all each countries have to take care of their own citizens by themselves. In addition, other rich countries also have made their wealth with/through for their own efforts, without a lot of help of other countries.
However, it is impossible for these developing countries to improve recover such poor living condition without any supports because they have no resource and power. Furthermore, in this today is globalized world age, so almost all every countries in the world seem to be one country. people can travel anywhere just in onea day thanks tofor developed transportation technology, and also they can easily communicate with people in other countries through communicative facilities. If wealthy nations don't share their wealth withamong poorer countries, it is likely the same case tha they leave their citizens in poverty.(it is the same as leaving their people in poverty.) Thus, they should consider the people in other nations as their own citizens, and need to help them.
In addition, if rich countries are indifferent to poor countries, the economic gap among the countries will get be wider and wider, then this expanded gap is likely to influence negatively in overall condition of world economy. For example, in case of war,when some sordiers safely survive while some are hurt badly, if survivors neglect the injured damaged soldiers, they won't be able to win the war finally.
In conclusion, I think that poorer nations are responsible to look after their citizens, but wealthy nations are also required to give some supports like providing food and education. |
이번달29일날 시험보는데 라이팅 정말 걱정이에요ㅠ_ㅠ
저혼자 이말저말 쓰긴쓰는데 맞게 쓰는건지도 잘 모르겠구요ㄷㄷ
아 그리고 더 걱정되는거는 시간맞추는게 어렵네요ㅠ
많은 조언 부탁드립니다~^^
이제 시험 몇일 남지도 않았는데 라이팅 어떻게 해야좋을지ㅠㅠ
앗 오늘 시험 보시는데 첨삭이 늦어버렸군요;
늦었지만, 접속사 후에 "," 컴마 찍는것, 그리고 약간의 전치사 에러(제가 잘하는건데;),
a lot of 대신에 쓸수있는 것들을 많이 찾아보세요.
"a bunch of" "hundreds of" "thousands of" "a number of" "a host of"등등..
그리고 매번 실수하시는 는 단수 취급, 복수취급을 하고 싶으시면 를 써주세요~!
문장력은 좋다고 생각이 됩니다.ㅎ
논리가 약간 떨어지는 이유는 첫번째 이유 "글로벌화 된 사회에서 모든 국가는 하나의 국가와 같다" 와 두번째 이유 "같이 발전하지 못하면 세계 경제에 영향을 끼친다" 와 겹치기 때문인 것 같아요.
앞쪽 이유를 "인간의 본성-측은지심 에 기인하여 도와줘야지" 라고 하고 뒤에를 글로벌화 된 사회에서 모든 국가는 하나의 국가와 같다. 라는 식으로 모든 국가의 발전은 연결된다. 라고 하면 훨씬 낫지 않을까 하는 제생각 ㅡㅡㅋ
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시험 잘보세요!ㅎ