▶ Your Answer :
Capital punishment has been existed for
more than five 5 centuries. This has disappeared in this recent century for the
rights of criminals as a human and for the cruelty reasons. During the
existence of capital punishment the crime rates decreased significantly.
However, it is a questionable whether the capital punishment is the a best option.
Therefore, I believe that the alternative method should be searched.
A death penalty is the most effective way
to reduce the crime rates for the short term. After the president of
Philippines announced to remove all the crimes by death penalty, the crime
rates declined by 31% in Philippines. This reduction in criminal rate was achieved
by killing more than 1,000 criminals, and can be considered as many a lot of
citizens died. However, if Philippines did not declare a war against criminals,
the crime rates in the world and the crime rates in Philippines will never be
reduced.
(Need better transition)
Death penalty is a definite measure which
can bring a fear into society for committing a crime. This will influence heavily
onto the crime rates. However, it cannot ignore the objective for punishment.
The objective for punishment is the reduction of crime rates and the discipline for criminals. Capital punishment satisfies is satisfied a half of this objective, so it
should be revised its method. Therefore, an the alternative method should be
revised to where it can satisfy all of the punishments objectives.
In conclusion, a death penalty can be
effective in order to reduce a crime rate. However, because it does not meet all the objectives of punishment for discipline, it should be modified. The
alternative method should satisfy all of the objectives of punishments, and that would be the
best methods.
Score: 7 Comment: 잘 서술해주셨습니다. 내용이 좋다고 생각합니다. Silly/small mistakes에 주의 해주시기를 바랍니다. 숫자 1~10은 글로 써주셔야합니다. 또한 lots of 이라는 표현은 informal하기 때문에 안써주시는게 좋습니다. 그 외에는 글 정리를 조금 더 해주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |