▶ Your Answer :
The line graphs compare the money spent monthly on young people’s sports and the number of children who took part in football, athletics and swimming, which were surveyed over a 6-year period from 2008 to 2014. Overall, the number of the participants increased steadily and there was a significant rise in monthly expenditure of children’s sports. Football was the most popular sport among the three activities, and athletics surpassed/exceeded went up over swimming in the end of the period. In 2008, approximately average 20 pounds was spent on children’s sports, and over 7.5 million of children opted for football, which is the highest level, whereas only just under 2.5 million and about 1 million of them enjoyed swimming and athletics respectively. The level of athletics considerably jumped and it recorded more than swimming from 2.5 million in 2011. By 2014, football was still relished with the highest participants at about 9 million, while swimming retained the lowest at 3 million children. The more people who enjoyed sports, the larger the average amount of money was spent on sports. In 2014, the expenditure of children’s sports recorded just over 30 pounds.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 내용 organization에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 오히려 한 문단당 한 그래프에 대한 정보를 전달해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 그 외에는 표현에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |