▶ Your Answer :
It is true that the majority of people drive
their cars in many ways <(unclear). Although, owning a car offers many a lot of benefits, I believe
that there are increasing drawbacks as we drive/have having cars in today’s world.
Running one's own car is efficient for some
reasons. First of all, these days most people can travel to remote work places by driving a car. Due to the fact that Public transport may take be taken too long
to commute to the work, but as we drive our cars instead of taking buses and
trains we surely easily to arrive on time especially in the morning. Another reason
is that it gives more convenient modes of transport than sitting in the crowded
buses. Normally, the public transport system is inefficient to use in the
busiest moment as many a lot of people heading to their schools, companies and so
on. This is extremely stressful for some individuals when they become a “strawberry
jam in the middle of a sandwich” between other people. Therefore, if we have
private vehicles it can be definitely convenient for travelling certain places.
On the other hand, cars relate to a variety
of demerits. It is quite clear that it causes extremely severe pollutions as
many humans drive cars. Air pollution is a significant issue nowadays, because driving a
car accompanies to increased the level of air pollutions in the cities
particularly. It can also bring about health problems to people be related to human’s health problems such as heart
disease and lung cancer since the cars bring out gases like green house gases
and CO2 in our environment. In addition, car accidents are is increasingly growing
than in the past. Some car owners who consume the alcohol <(incomplete sentence), but they may not
have conscience that they could cause injuries of passengers or die. Consequently,
results of car accidents can influence on their families’ sadness.
In conclusion, having a car offers us
several benefits, however, I believe that if people use their cars excessively,
they will be harmful for humans and the environment.
Score: 6 Comment: 질문에 대한 답은 fair하다고 생각합니다. 다만 문장구조가 어색해서 clarity가 전체적으로 조금 떨어십니다. 문법/문장구조와 clarity에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 그 외에는 조금 더 다양한 표현을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
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