▶ Your Answer :
There is no doubt that people are living in convenient conventional life with the computer. Since the introduction of computers are used using until today in nowadays and they will be used in the future on numerous sections instead
of people. With regard to this issue some people may insist that people should
rely on computers. However, I do i does not believe that this contention as it has negative
impacts towards people.
It is true that the computer will be replace replaced with many roles things instead of human such as teachers, house workers and drivers because computer can control perform more accurate work more than people do. In near future, human teachers might does not exist in classroom because computer will be placed instead of
them because it can teach children with enormous data without any error and
preparation time. In addition, computer will be built in the car and it will be
driving the car as a for driver, which that can be significantly safer than when people drive as machines are does not exhausted exhaust and do not feel fatigue. Ffurthermore, housework is predicted to be done work
by computer because it can be cleaned off more faster than human do.
On the other hand, allowing computers to do what? are possessing in people's lives gradually, does not yield positive effects, rather
it can backfire. backfires for people. According to a survey conducted in Korea last year, a
great number of computers were already set up on manufacturing thus people were did
not necessary need any more in a factory. In this reason, This phenomenon led lead people to
be unemployment problem thus they need to be aware of avoiding computer to use in
unnecessary areas such as teaching and driving in spite of computer has
sufficient benefits towards users. Moreover, the computers are not perfect
products and it will be depreciated the quality continually because it has
short life span than people have.
To conclude, it is clear that the computers are being used using in many sections in nowadays and will be so in the future. Although despite it has brought about
massive convenient life, however, but people need to recognize that they should prove
their value as more worth than the computer do.
IELTS 1-9 score scale score: 5.5 modest user
어떤 분야에서 컴퓨터가 더 쓰이게 될지 예상한 내용이 좋았어요. 하지만 컴퓨터 의존도가 높아지는 것이 왜 문제가 되는지를 지적하는 부분은 논리를 더 강화해줄 필요가 있어 보여요. 경제적인 부분에서 사람이 설 곳이 없어진다거나 기술적 결함을 무시할 수 없다는 내용은 아주 좋으니까 표현 부분에 더 신경써보시면 좋겠습니다. 문법, 단어표현도 신경써주세요. 수고하셨습니다~! 아이엘츠 라이팅 채점기준 참고하세요 - TA/TR(Task Achievement/Task Response) 문제에 정확히 답변, 적정 분량 - CC(Coherence and Cohesion) 일관성, 응집성 - LR(Lexical Resource) 다양한 어휘표현 - GR(Grammartical Range and Accuracy) 문법 다양성, 정확성 |