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■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become positive development?
(Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.) | |
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▶ Your Answer :
These days, as development of technology has greatly affected people, most of us have smart phones and use it every minute. People do not only contact each other by calling only, but they use various technologies like MMS, e-mail and SNS(social network service). The development of technology has greatly affected the ways people interact with each other. It leads to the change of the way of interacting.In this short essay, I want to discuss how the development of argue technology has affected human relationships in the modern world and how the technology worked out positively.
To begin with, the development of modern technology has enabled us to widen our circles>>??. We>> 에세이를 쓰다보면 아시겠지만 예시가 아닌 곳에선 we를 쓰지 않고 people 등으로 씁니다 don't do not have much difficulty understanding other cultures around the globe with using technology because using technology, we can meet a lot of different people of diverse backgrounds if we want.>> 문장이 너무 깁니다 For example, In my case, I have a wonderful friend in China,>> 콤마 빼주세요 whom I met through a internet community on the Internet. She>> 그 어디에도 she 가 누군지 나타나있지 않습니다 여성을 나타내는 단어 자체가 없어서 she 가 갑자기 나오면 글에 대한 이해력이 떨어집니다 and I have been contacting on line >> online 은 한 단어입니다 and teaching each other my languages of our home countries and so does she.
Technology makes people to contact more often and lower reduce the barriers among cultures. This is because, nowadays, thanks to technology, interactions between people are getting >> get동사는 피해주세요 faster, cheaper, >> 세개 이상 나열에서 마지막 and 앞엔 콤마 넣어주세요 and more convenient.
In short, modern day technology has contributed to our lives by widening human circles>>? and by making it easier to contact with each other. Therefore, we should appreciate the development of modern the day technology and use wisely it wisely.
각 문단 첫 줄은 한 칸 들여쓰고 시작해주세요 고쳐드렸구요 문법적 오류나 단어 사용에서 좀 이상한 것들이 있었습니다 논리도 좋지 못했습니다 서론이 본론보다 긴 현상도 보였구요
서론은 2~3문장 본론1 4~5문장 본론2 4~5 문장 결론 2~3문장 정도가 적당합니다
어휘, 문법, 논리 부분에서 부족한 점이 많이 보였습니다
Task Achievement - 4 Coherence and Cohesion - 4 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
4.5 예상합니다 | |
제가 처음 한시간 이상 걸려서 썼는데 옮기다보니까 창피하네요 ㅠㅎㅎ 문법이랑 논리적인부분이나 형식이 맞는지 읽어봐주시면 감사하겠습니다.. 정말감이안오네요ㅠㅠㅋㅋ방금 단어 계산기에 넣어보니까 215자라는데 250자를 언제 40분안에쓰는지;;;