▶ Your Answer :
While a number of governments chase the success in economic progress, some see other kinds of progress as an equally substantial issue for a country. The economic progress is never cannot be overlooked, however I believe the other types of progress are also crucial. This essay will discuss both opinions, followed by a reasoned conclusion.
Truly and undoubtedly, continual economic growth is the vital issue for a country, as economy underlines significant part of people's living standards. If economic status deteriorates or stops growing, companies will start redundancy and make no new recruitment, which surely leads to hundreds of the unemployed. As a result, riots could arise and people plead with their poor living standards with social unrest. France and South Korea at the present is the representative example, where people are suffering from highly rising unemployment in a stagnant economy status. Accordingly, it is definite that government should make constant efforts for economic progress.
However, monetary wealth never can never be enough only by itself. For a more stable and better country, other types of progress are additionally needed. Firstly, counteracting crime is more and more important for a country, given the fact that crimes become more devious, creative and unanticipated. These crimes undermine wholesomeness of society and result in distrust towards one another. Secondly, safety and security should surely be guaranteed by governments. Terrorism and various accidents are constantly occurring so that people are in the most dangerous circumstances. General public are being murdered died by gun shots, bombs, and public transport accidents such as ships, air plane, subways. Those all All those unfortunate accidents drag people into the grief and concern of their safety, at the same time, degree of anxiety of society is highly increasing.
In conclusion, economic progress is important for maintenance of living standards of a country, however, I believe progress in the crime, security and safety is also essential for a better country to make people live stably with less concerns on crimes, terrors and accidents.
Score: 7.5 Comment: Persuasive하게 잘 서술해주셨습니다. 문법상 어순에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 또한 글 정리를 조금 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
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