▶ Your Answer :
People must seek for continuous knowledge
in order to think creatively. This persistence will beat the talented and
creative people. This essay will support this claim.
The continuous study will make children to
think creatively. Since we are living in the Information Age, people can find
information about everything. If people want to be thinking creatively, that
information can be found in the education. This persistent activity would
change people's way of thinking and this change may allow a person be able to think
creatively. Albert Einstein had mentioned that; the education is not the
learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think. In other words, when
people seek information about creativity, the education will guide them to
think creatively.
(This may be considered as the same way as
the pathway to the successful. Successful person might be achieved by
persistence and working hard. Like this, the creativity can be achieved by
persistent studying and working hard. Any hard work never betrays. Therefore,
thinking creatively would be able to be achieved by seeking for further education
and working hard.) =><(굳이 필요한 문단은 아닌 것 같습니다.)
Talented ones, on the other hand, usually
might not seek for further education. This is because, they already know that
they are were a genius. Since they have too much conceit, it can even make their
creative thinking to decline. Therefore, the continuously studying people will
beat/win over up the talented people without studying. <(beat up 이라는 동사는 주로 팬다는 의미로 쓰입니다)
In conclusion, in my perspective, I believe
that the persistent study can be able to make people to be creative for the
art.
Score: 7.5 Comment: 잘 서술 해주셨습니다. 글 정리만 조금 더 해주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |