▶ Your Answer :
The table presents information on people's preferences of several TV programmes exmamined by one country in Europe in 2012.
Among the A to F programmes shown on TV, type A programme had the largest preference shares in age group between 11 and 15,; totaling in 25%. More and more people are old As the age group gets older, preference figures on type A programme went down; 13% in 16-20 aged individuals and 4% in 21-25.
On the other hand, type C programme shows the opposite different phenomenon from type A programme case, where the figure ascends as the age group gets higher. which has the ascending preference directions as the group have a high level of age.
In the meantime, programme type B illustrated at least 20% preference of people of different age groups. And programme type D had figures of at least 16% in the three age-varied individual group.
As can be observed, the six 6 selected programmes on TV showed that some are fluctuated, others are stable, and the rest had certain ascending or descending percentage trends in each aged group individual in 2012. <(overall 내용은 introduction뒤에 나오면 더 좋습니다)
Score: 6 Comment: 내용 organization/grouping을 조금 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 1~2 문장으로 따로 정리하셔서 전달을 해주시는 것 보다는 문단별로 grouping을 해서 전달을 해주시면 더 좋습니다. 문법상 silly mistakes에 주의 해주시기를 바랍니다. 또한, 표현에도 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |