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The line graphs illustrate the amount of money parents in Britain spent on children's sports and the participation numbers of children in three different sports from 2008 to 2014.
Overall, the parents spent more money on
their child's participation in sports over the 6 years (단위는 띄어서 적어주세요~) and the children were
significantly more interested in football than athletics and swimming.
It is clear that the expenditure of
student’s exercises was spent an average of 20 pounds. Parents spent The spending by parents on children’s
sporting activities gradually increased by at least 5 pounds for every two years
and the average amount had risen to just over 30 pounds by 2014.
The highest number of students over
8 millions preferred football while only 2 million children took up in the
swimming activity and the less than 1 million of students attended athletics. (기준점이 되는 연도, 즉 여기의 경우 2008년이라는 점을 제시해주셔야 합니다.) The numbers for football were relatively kept stable over the following 6 years. However,
participation in athletics significantly increased more than five-fold (5배 감소는 전혀 아닙니다.) and also the
students who participated in swimming were constantly raised at 3 million in
2014.
안녕하세요. 이전에 첨삭한거 재 작성하여 올립니다. 마지막문단에 2011년엔 Athletics에 참석하는 학생의 수가 swimming을 넘어섰다!라고 넣고 싶었는데 the participation numbers in athletics was outweigh the swimming figures in 2011.
이런건 너무 어색한 표현인지... 엉엉 재작성했는데도 부족하네요. ㅜㅜ 첨삭해주셔서 감사합니다.
A: the participation numbers in athletics outweighs the figures of swimming in 2011 이라고 적어주시면 됩니다!
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