> > 2009-06-24 13:18:22, '쫜스' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
■ You should spend about 40 minutes on this task ■ Write about the following topic ■ Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience ■ Write at least 250 words | |
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Topic :
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and your own opinion. | |
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It is true that famous sports players can earn much money. Some people argue that their salaries are too high.
However, others insist that these people deserve huge salaries.
Personally, I think that famous athletes have a great impact on our social life(이렇게 말하면 퇵이랑 상관없어보이네요;; be more specific) and deserve such high salaries.
Most people like to watch sports event and they are interested in sports news.
Also many people want to go to sports stadium to see fantastic play of famous sports professionals. When they look at the event their concerns and problems of life will be disappeared. So, they willingly pay much money for entrance fee the game tickets... The amount of gains from fandom is a good sum. Thus, I think such high salaries are deserved by famous athletes.
I think that sports is a kind of entertainments. Entertainment plays an essential role in our daily life. We need to relax and watch television to see our favorite sports players. Entertainment is one of the best ways to reduce stress and tension. develop this paragraph more in depth....(relating to the topic) you didn't say tjat much about this point..
Futhermore, famous athletes have to work hard in order to show nice plays. I am sure that the achievements they have are the results of hard work and endless endeavors.
They sometimes risk their lives and health.
When we hear the news about wounded players come back, we feel a great challenge.
In conclusion, I want to say that the work of athletes is not easy. These atheletes sacrifice a lot just to benefit others. Salaries should reflect people’s dedication and job responsibilities. Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money.
문장들이 너무 간단하고 문장문장마다 이어지는게 자연스럽지가 않네요;
also lacking of developments.... | |
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