▶ Your Answer :
The given bar chart illustrates the popularity
of the specific leisure activities which are participated in by Australian
children who are 5 to 14. Overall, boys’ participation in the pastime in the activities chart is more remarkable than girls.
It is immediately clear that the percentage
of watching television is a favorite activity regardless of gender. Almost all children
in Australia spent their spare time in this way. However, in three of the four
remaining activities, the proportions of boys who take part in these activities
are considerably greater than that of girls.
The most popular activity is playing
computer games. Four out of five boys prefer such games, compared to almost
three in five girls. Bike riding and Skateboarding in the order named follows
computer games as for popularity.
The only activity which is more popular
with girls than boys is Art and craft. While nearly 40% of boys enjoy the
pastime, just over 50 percent of girls do that.
In conclusion, the figures seem to suggest
that males and females have different preferences of these activities, and, while
young men are likely to be active, young women are likely to be artistic or
creative. <(likely to be artistic or creative이라고 하기에는 biking riding/electronic computer games에도 비슷한 participation percentage가 나왔습니다)
Score: 5.5 Comment: Boy and girls comparison외에 numerical value를 주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 예를 들어 거의 모든 boys and girls가 watching television을 좋아한다면 이 내용을 supporting하는 percentage를 주시면 좋습니다. 문법상 글쓰시는데에는 크게 문제가 없어보이십니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |