▶ Your Answer : After people commit crime, they always receive a trial for from judgment >> e를 빼주세요 regarding their guilty >> 명사를 만들어주세요 and punishment. Some criminals did something evil, but some of them might make a just mistake without intentionality. If there always be >>빈도부사는 조동사 be동사 뒤 일반동사 앞에 위치합니다 is always a fixed punishment without consideration in reasons of incidents of the reason, no one could >> can if 절의 동사가 현재라면 주절의 조동사는 현재여야 합니다 say that the law is upright to people. Thus, I believe that the justice department should take all the causes into consideration all the causes of different cases before the judgement. Some people >> some만 쓰지 말아주세요 argue that, >> if절이 새로 들어가니 콤마로 나눠주세요 if there is no absolute standard for some types of crime, criminals might >> 위에 말씀드린 바와 같이 may입니다 be able to abuse law for avoiding their penalties. To reduce their sentences, they may fabricate intelligently >> 부사는 동사 뒤에 위치합니다 circumstnaces intelligently. Furthermore, as a law which every national member must follow, it should have specific references to redress an the injustice. There is a saying, 'A pretext is never wanting.'. and it means that every incidents has its own excuse and result. >> 에세이같은 아카데믹한 글쓰기에선 인용구(속담 등), expression 등의 표현을 사용하지 못합니다 Sometimes,>> 문두에 부사가 나오면 콤마로 띄워주세요 a person's behavior results unintended effect and people commit crimes necessarily. For instance, a woman murdered a man who tried to rape herself at late night. If the woman should >> if 절엔 조동사를 쓰지 않습니다 was punished by the fixed sentence for murdering, she would be ruined by an unjust charge. To prevent the unfair judgement, ruling ought to consider all the reasons of each incident.
In conclusion, it is true that law should have correct a criterion to protect a social order and crimes. Nevertheless, like >> such as like는 구어체에 가깝습니다 two sides of a coin, I think >> I think 등의 표현보단 in my opinion으로 시작해서 그냥 작문하는 것이 좋습니다 the law must also have hearts to prevent people who are in an unjust situation and give social members hope in terms of justice.
정의라는 너무 막연한 논리가 제시됐다고 봅니다 문법이나 논리가 상당히 비껴갔다면 이런 지적도 하지 않을텐데 더욱 논리적으로 심화시켜서 전달해드리려 지적해드립니다 법은 현재도 상황을 고려하며 판결을 내리고 있습니다 또한 토픽은 법이 고정되어야 하냐 상황에 따라 달라야 하냐 두 의견을 제시하고 본인의 의견을 물어봤지만 쓰신 글은 법은 상황에 따라서 달라야 한다는 맥락 하나만 판 것으로 보입니다 위에 빨간 부분들 잘 보시고 글 빠르게 훑어서 내용 정리해보시길 바랍니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
6.0 예상합니다 |