■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer | |
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▶ Topic :문제를 안적어놔서 한글로 기억나는데로 쓰겠습니다..ㅠㅠ
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve traffic and pollution problems.
agree or disagree?
effective 한 other measures 가 무엇이라 생각하는가? | |
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▶ Your Answer :
140224 IELTS Writing 캠브릿지8권 Test3 Task2 43분00초
It is said that today’s traffic and environmental problems are very serious. One solution is to raise the cost of petrol, which is the dominant source of that problem.
Not surprisingly, the consumption of oil would decrease as the price would decline. Almost all of cars are based on petrol, and a lot of plants produce electricity from the fossil fuel. Moreover, there are so many oil-related products and services. Therefore, some positive outcomes might be happened by increasing the price of petrol. However, if that solution contributes to solve the fundamental problem, I agree completely that is the best way.
Recently, we could realize that it is not that easy to find the alternative fuel. Thus, the oil would be the main resource of energy and products until the advanced time. Without the resolution that how people could get the other source, increasing the price of fossil fuel itself just disturb the balance of oil industries and the economy. The best and effective measure is to make the other cheap and easy-to-reach source, and that need lots of money. Therefore, this problem should be subsided to the government, and increasing tax on oil could help that. Such as proper link between the upward taxation on oil and the developed energy source could encourage the general public to adopt that policy.
There are other effective solutions to reduce pollution problems, such as the advancement for driving habbit and the development for replacable element to environmental problem one.
In conclusion, there are many tries to solve this problem. However, making the alternative source is the fundamental result. Therefore, I would agree on that increasing the cost of fossil fuel is the best option when that excessive money could serve that solution. |
역시나 시간이 너무 많이 잡아먹어서 탈고를 아예 못했습니다 ㅠㅠ
실제시험같은 긴장감을 안가지고 연습하는게 문제인것같습니다..
(사실 실제시험에서도 남는시간은 2~3분 내외? ;;)
역시 문두의 접속사와 문장길이, 수일치 등에 신경을 썼으나 미흡한 부분이 쓰고나니 보이네요..
oil, fossil fuel, petrol 패러프의 한계를 보았습니다ㅠ
마지막 앞에 문단을 좀 앞으로 옮겼으면 좀 더 나을꺼같았는데 시간에 쫓겨서 문제에서 요구하는
다른 옵션들에 대해서 어떻게든 언급하려고 하다보니 전체적인 구성이 완전 이상해진거같습니다 ;
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쓰고나니 초반에
만약에 그 증가한 가격이 대체에너지개발에 기여한다면 completely agree 하겠다
라고 언급을 해줬으면 좀 더 나을것도같네요...
줄줄 쓰다가 중간에 결론이 나오는 느낌인거 같아서..;;
제이님의 냉철한 평가 부탁드립니다...!!