▶ Your Answer :
The given line graph depicts an England’s daily
needs for electricity in winter and summer by units of electricity figure. And The pie graph
gives information on the four different purposes of an English family’s electricity consumption.
In terms of the line graph, it is easy to
observe some differences by time and season. In summer, electricity demands are
between 12,000 units and 20,000 units while winter season consumption is from
30,000 units to 45,000 units. With regards to the time, day-time around noon demand
for electricity in summer around noon is higher than other times with slightly more than
20,000 units., and night-time use reaches a peak in winter season with 45,000
units figure around 10 pm.
Additionally, the pie graph gives us the
reasons of daily electricity demand above. More than half of the electricity used in an English home is for
heating rooms and water. Demand comes from ovens, kettles, washing machines only
holds 17.5% of total demand while lighting, TV, radio consumption and vacuum cleaners, food mixers, electric tools use merely take up 15% of the total ,
respectively. <(percentage을 전달하실라면 동일하게 모든 factor에 대한 percentage를 주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. )
In conclusion, to understand the electric
energy demand in England, the electricity used for heating in homes is essentially needed. <(not necessary information)
Score: 6.5 Comment: 주로 스펠링 mistake나 silly grammar mistakes가 있으십니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
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