It is true that many people starve and fall into the death despite the developments in agriculture still now (필수는 아닌데, 저는 개인적으로 이 still now 를 조금 더 앞에 보냈을 것 같네요. 물론 취향 차이라 따로 수정해드리지는 않았습니다.). Also, it can be explained by various reasons such as global warming and a greedy of people. However, this problem could be solved if they (얘가 지칭하는 바를 명확히 밝혀주세요~) get an effort to act properly. (사실 서론은 앞으로 글의 전개를 예고하는 역할이라, 지금처럼 구체적인 이유와 해결책을 제시하는 것보다는, 첫 문장만 남기고 '이 글에서는 주어진 현상에 대한 원인, 그리고 이를 해결할 수 있는 방안에 대해 제시할 것이다.' 로 적어주시는 게 낫습니다. 현재 서론의 두, 세 번째 문장은 사실 결론에 가야할 내용이죠.)
To begin with, although the 21st century has came to nowadays’ people, some are going to die because they do not have enough amount of food. Actually, many professionalists like scientists who have a large number of notions about specific agriculture information have worked for lots of hungry people. However, global warming is changing to the worst occasion and it progresses faster and faster compared to in the past. (여기 global warming 의 경우 many people, 즉 특정 people 에 해당되는 것이 아니라 전세계에 해당된다는 점에서 적절하지 않습니다. 만약에 이게 적절하다면, many 가 아닌 모든 people 이 배고파야 할 것이니까요. 이 글의 목적은 왜 배고픔에 있어 빈부'격차' 가 존재하는지를 파악하는 것이 중요하니까요. 또한, global warming 이 '어떻게' 배고픔과 연결되는지에 대한 설명도 전혀 없기 때문에 논리적으로도 적절하지 않고요.) Also, there are some misbehave misbehaving people who have too much greed even though they are placed in a rich class level. It means that humans are not going to handle this situation and a lack of help for other poor people makes it happens more quickly.
Nevertheless, there are solutions to fix this issue and it may be not too difficult to seem. The first one is all people should protect their environments such as being not to destroy a food-chain and a forest. This could be heard so simple but it is very important since only how much the scientists make numerous advances is not working to stop progressing global warming. (위의 파란색이 부적절함에 따라, 그에 대응하는 현재의 해결책도 적절하지 않게 되죠.) Furthermore, the last one is people need to get a more open-mind for helping someone and they should be careful to minimize the amount of food waste that they produce should have good behavior that they do not create extra foods that could be changed a trash.
To sum up, the causes of many people feeling hungry still these days are the natural reason such as global warming and people’s incorrect actions like being not to consider and care for the poor. However, it can be resolved by every people to preserve nature for no more bad change of circumstance and being considerational people.