Some people say that students should not be esposed to teachers' opinions on social and political issues in the classroom. Others, however, think that it is helpful for students to hear various perspectives.
Discuss both theses views and givew your own opinion.
It is a common belief that exposing teachers' opinions about social and political issues to students is helpful. However Howerer, there is a more helpful argument that students should never be are never exposed to teachers' opinions on social and political issues.
On the one hand, students who are exposed to teachers' opinions about social and political problems can also have benefits. If they hear teachers' thoughts on those fields thinking of that , they can get various ideas about that. For example, the teachers who have a marked political tendency can influence the students. Then, it makes the students that have different ideas of that problems to think one more again and make a careful decision.
Nevertheless, it is more helpful idea to students to not be exposed to teachers' opinions regarding social and political matters that do not exposing teachers' opinions to the students. This way, the The students can keep on having their own colour of that problems. For instance, a teacher who has a mistaken opinions affects the students so the students feel the same way with the teacher, then a vicious circle of society will continue and never change. (이 내용은 앞의 '학생 고유의 색깔/의견을 유지할 수 있다' 를 100% 뒷받침해주지는 못합니다. 그러므로 이 문장이 깔끔하게 나오기 위해서, 앞 문장을, '학생들은 아직 어리기 때문에, 잘못된 의견을 분별해내기가 쉽지 않고~' 와 같은 내용으로 수정해주셔야하고요.)
To sum it up, exposing teachers' opinions to students also has benefits, but not doing so do not exposing is entirely better. For these reasons reasos, not exposing is a very nice thing for students.
총평: (5/6/5/5) 5.5
아직은 문법/어휘에 있어 미흡한 부분들이 많은 편입니다. expose 등 특정 단어가 반복해서 쓰이고 있으며, 이 외의 문법 오류도 조금 많은 편이고요. 따라서 6.5점 이상이 필요하시다면 무조건 어휘/문법 공부를 병행해주시고, 그렇지 않다고 하더라도 조금은 보완해주세요! 또한 내용의 경우도 각 본론이 한 줄 정도의 보충은 필요해요. 가령 본론 두 번째 문단에서 vicious cycle 이 대략 어떤 식으로 이루어지는지를 적는 것도 좋습니다. 수고하셨습니다 :)