▶ Your Answer : People peple have various opinions concerning whether children should learn a foreign language from an early age. Although some are concerned about early foreign language education, I think that it should begin as soon as possible. This is because, early foreign language education helps children to learn a foreign language quickly, and is in line with the trend of globalization. To begin with, early education in foreign language is vital,. because children are more adept at learning a foreign language than adults. It is a well-known fact that there are some critical language skills that must be acquired at an early age, such as pronunciation. A number of studies have shown that pronunciation skills are formed between seven and twelve (숫자 1~10은 글자로 써주셔야합니다) 7 and 12. Based on the study, it is evident that education language pronunciation education that is given later in secondary school is not as effective as it is in primary school. Therefore, to maximize the effectiveness of a new language, foreign language education should be begun as early as possible. Moreover, I believe that children need preparations to adjust to the competitive society when they become an adults. This is because, children should improve their competitive edge as speak wide range of languages than their counterparts <(????). For example, in modern society many companies needing for multilingual employees has became urgent. As this shows, that early foreign language education is necessary to provide future generations with a competitive edge in today's increasingly globalized world. <(내용 연결성이 조금 떨어집니다. 이 문단의 내용은 취직을 하기에는 외국어가 필요하다고 말해주고 있지만 어려서부터 다른 언어를 배워야한다 라고는 말해주고 있지 않습니다) In conclusion, early foreign language education is beneficial,. because people will learn a language more easily at an younger age, which will allow them to become more competitive. Given this, children should be actively encouraged to learn foreign languages from an early age.
Score: 5 Comment: 문장이 중간에 끊겨서 다음 줄에 시작하는 곳이 많습니다. 주의해주시기를 바랍니다. 에세이 내용은 어느정도 fair하다고 생각합니다. 다만 문법상 틀리시는 곳이 많습니다. 주로 punctuation/전치사/capitalization/spelling에 틀리시고 계십낟. 또한 반복적인 표현이나 문장구조가 많습니다. 조금 더 다양한 표현과 문장구조를 쓰시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |