<Topic> |
|||
The two types of given charts
depict education levels by five age groups and gender in 2010, Glasgow, Scotland. Overall, the chart
regarding age groups shows the reversal (단순이 reversal만으로는 표를 접하지 못한 사람이 내용을 쉽게 파악할 수 없습니다. 나이대와 학력이 반비례하는 경향을 보였다~혹은 이와 유사한 표현으로 명확하게 밝혀주셔야 합니다.) trend according to adulthood, and that
of gender indicates little difference in three types of education levels between
females and males. In regards to
the information of age groups education level in the vertical chart, 76% of 24-35
years old people graduated universities, which plots the highest ratio among all age
groups. It is closely followed by that of rate in the youngest age groups and
35 to 50 years old groups and the rate dropped by 21%p (이렇게 써도 틀린 건 아닌데, 웬만하면 21% points 라고 정확하게 풀어써주시는 게 좋습니다. 줄임말은 유형을 가리지 않고 안 쓰는 게 좋아요.) the groups of people in
50-75 years old. Interestingly, these three groups illustrate the exact same percent
of the school certificate(20%), in addition, the three youngest groups show the
same rate of no qualification, 9%. Regardless of
ages, the percent of three education levels in both genders seem quite similar,
especially, the rate of school certificate is exactly the same, 33%, and no qualification
ratio of women is the highest in both charts which is trailed by that of men.
32% of Scotland males are a university degree holder and 3%p drop is seen in the same category for females |
|||
[ 233 words] |
|||
Grammar |
Vocabulary |
Cohesion and Coherence |
Task Response |
7/9.0 |
8/9.0 |
7/9.0 |
6/9.0 |
감사합니다.
총평: 참고로 task achievement (response) 에서의 6점은 단순히 overview 때문이며, 세부적인 분석은 잘 되었습니다. 저도 경각심을 위해서 필요 이상으로 더 깎은 것도 있기도 하고요.
이 외에는 평소의 자잘한 사항들 정도에만 신경써주시면 되겠습니다.
+시간 맞춰서 쓰는 연습은 꼭 하고 계시리라 믿겠습니다!!
수고하셨습니다 :)