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These days, a number of people contact easily with each other easily , no matter how far the distance between them is thanks to technological development. I believe that people, nowadays,>>앞뒤 콤마 넣어주세요 are able to build a strong bond with one another with the convenient ways such as smart phone and Skype which is a free online telephone service an application on a phone. compared to the past.
First of all, people not only do not tend to miss someone but also maintain affection and friendship between friends and family. with ease due to technological positive effects, It is easy to communicate online, even though they are far away each other live in far distance. For example, when I was in Hong Kong to complete the exchange student program as an interchange student, I always called to my mother to seeing her face on the computer screen because of with Skype. I seldom felt nostalgia and homesick,>> becasuse 앞뒤로 콤마가 붙지 않습니다 because,>> 예외로 전치사절이 가운데 오면 콤마가 붙습니다 on the Internet, I could often communicate with my friends and family. People are able to keep their relationship, no matter how far they are and no matter how much time is different in between the different areas time zone each of them they lives in. Technological improvement makes people overcome these barriers for communication which is the significant factor to maintain long-term relationship.>> 밑줄 친 부분은 삭제하는게 좋을 듯 싶습니다 또한 문제에서 요구한 바는 기술이 어떻게 사람들의 관계에 영향을 줬냐는 말인데 주장은 사람들은 우정과 애정을 지키려한다 -> 말이 안 되는 동문서답 식의 글이 됐습니다
Second of all, more opportunities are given to individuals on order to meeting various people from different cultures on the Internet. The growth of technology allows them to broaden their human network. I would like to introduce an example, For example, on Facebook, It is an internet program to find out diverse people and make new friends easily. When I visit someone's web page, if he or she seems to have something in common with me, and then I can send a message request to the person to add him or her into my friend relationship list. This is a very simple and easy way to have a wide human network. Thanks to the technology they make friends from various fields and thus their relationship become wider. >> 여기도 주장이 다른 문화의 다양한 사람들을 만날 수 있는 기회가 많아졌다라고 해석되는데 문제에선 어떻게 영향을 줬냐는게 중심이죠 어떻게 줬냐 하면 사람들을 인터넷 상에서 관계를 구축하도록 만들었다, 면대면 만남의 횟수를 줄어들게 만들었다 등의 내용이 맞겠습니다
To conclude, in my opinion, advantages of the technological development outweigh its disadvantages. This is because people can keep in touch with family and friends to maintain the relationship as well as make new friends on the convenient way.
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과연 시험장 가서 다 쓸 수 있을지가 의문이구요
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한글로 작성해보시고 영어로 옮겨보시길 바랍니다
Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.0 예상합니다 |