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The bar graphs illustrate the proportion of two different types of TV programmes>> channels 라고 해도 괜찮을 듯 싶네요 watched by Australian males and females and with four age groups falling into four distinct ages in Australia (몇살, 몇살, 몇살, and 몇살).
At the first glance, it is clear that both genres are the most popular to the age of 45 and over. >> 오버뷰는 본론입니다 명심하세요 As seen from the first graph, about 70% of females watch reality shows, which is almost twice as much as the percentage of males who choose this genre. The percentage of people watching this genre increases steadily from ages 16 to 45 years old with the lowest percentage of viewers, >> 마침표 찍어주세요 At just over 50% of the age groups, 16-24 and the highest percentage at more or less 70% of the over-45s. >> 동사는 어디 갔나요?
However, although the preference of game shows between two genders is similar at about 60%, the pattern among age groups is different >> 이런건 오버뷰입니다. Just about 40% of people ages fromat their age of 25 to 44-year-olds watch this genre, while it is still popular to the old aged over 45 with the figure of approximately 70%. The second biggest groups watching the game shows is 16 to 24-year-olds at 50%, which is the smallest groups in reality shows. >> 갑자기 나오네요
To sum up, women tend to watch more television than man, although they watch slightly fewer game shows.
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단어는 171자가 아닌 209 자라고 나오네요 리얼리티 vs 게임 티비 쇼를 나눠놓은 것부터가 좋지 않습니다 리얼리티와 게임쇼 동시에 왔다갔다 하면서 말해야 그게 비교입니다 나눠놓으면 단순 나열입니다 분석하란건 단순히 나열하란 의미가 아닙니다 그래서 이렇게 제대로 된 비교가 나오지 않고 나눠진 문단에서 갑자기 뜬금없이 비교하는 문장이 나와 갑자기 나온다고 언급했구요 문법 공부를 더 해보시는걸 추천드립니다 16-24는 그룹 중 가장 어린 45이상은 그룹 중 가장 나이가 많다고도 표현할 수 있습니다 어휘력도 길러보시길 바랍니다 문장 구조는 좀 더 다양하게 그리고 기본적으로 주어 동사 정도는 완벽하게 들어가 있어야 합니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.5 예상합니다 |